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  1. #1
    Senior Member Sophomore Neon Aurora's Avatar
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    Default The Summer of 2016 Has Been Awful

    Aside from having to evacuate my home to a fire, losing our beautiful horse Tristen, and breaking my nose, I have now lost my dog, Kodiak. He was a 7 year old akita mix. He was acting a bit off today, so I took him to the vet. There we found out he had spleen cancer that had ruptured and was bleeding into his abdomen. We euthanized him just about an hour ago.

    I seriously want to just curl up and die right now. This is also the first week of the fall semester at university, so that is just swell.

    I just needed to write something somewhere. I've never felt so wretched. He meant so much to me. I loved him so much. Tonight just absolutely tore me to pieces. I have so many regrets. I wish I could have given him the life he deserved. I wish I'd known this was coming so I could have spent every spare moment with him. I don't know how I'm going to be a functional human being for a while, but I have to be.

    I hope you all are having a better summer than me.

  2. #2
    Member Freshman PanJaster's Avatar
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    I'm sorry for your loss Hope it will get better over time. This seems to be really bad summer for you, but don't get too depressive, it just happened, now you can't change it. I don't think that you should forget what you've been through, but just not to get stuck in the past and what could and should you done. Now, this is your new beginning, you just need to take advantake of your past and make your life & life of others at last a bit better.
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  3. #3
    The Summer of 2016 Has Been Awful
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    DrCarrotTail's Avatar
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    So sorry to hear of all the trouble you had. I'm sure Kodiak was a super lucky dog to have a great owner like you and he knew it. I hope things start to look up for you and you feel better soon!
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  4. #4
    Senior Member Sophomore Neon Aurora's Avatar
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    Thank you for your kind words. I hope I'm still able to do well in my classes despite this. Right now I feel pretty wrecked. The truth is, I had too many dogs to take care of and Kodi didn't have the life he deserved. The situation is too complicated to explain, but I hope he knew how much I loved him even if I couldn't give him everything I wanted to. I feel like I failed him. He was such a special dog, and if I'd known about the cancer I would have made this the best year of his life. I can't stop thinking about how he looked up at me and wagged his tail just before he was euthanized. He was such a special dog and deserved so much better than I was able to give him. He was so loyal. I remember one day when I was hiking with him and he dashed off after a deer. We totally lost track of each other and I was freaking out. I searched for hours in the woods before deciding to go back to my car and call my family to come help. When I got back to my car, there he was, sitting in front of it just waiting for me.

    I'll tell you one thing. I've learned from this experience not to shove off doing something fun with your pets until a later date. I wish I had been able to take him hiking one more time, but everytime I thought about it recently, I said "Maybe next week, it's too hot today" or any number of excuses. Now I'll never hike with him again.
    I also learned never to forego annual check ups. Next time, I'll know about the cancer and make sure the time I have left with that dog was the absolute best I could give. The pain of my regrets on top of missing him is almost too much.

    I'm sorry for just totally breaking down in this thread, but I really want to put these thoughts somewhere. I can't express them in person the way I can in writing.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Sophomore Neon Aurora's Avatar
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  6. #6
    Member Freshman Jayme's Avatar
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    What a beautiful dog, it sounds like he was smart too, and loved you a lot. I'm so sorry for your loss. You're story made me cry, I will remember him with you. Please accept my condolences.

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