WOW

[NinjaDuo]

I have been dating the same girl for going on 4 years now... well, her birthday is Oct.13, and i was going to propose. ( Im a Studio Art major, and I got with my metal works professor and I casted a gold ring and made it by hand). Well everything was going great, until she called me last night crying saying that i deserve better.....and made me break up with her.

Im in complete awe of how dumb this is.

It feels good writing this out.

 

[lillith]

No chance of finding out why she thinks she's worthless? That's really really weird.
I'm sorry you're going through this.

I don't know if it'll cheer you up, but I would probably marry a guy if he *hand-made* a ring for me. (As long as he wasn't like, a coors-swilling, wife-beater-wearing meanie.)
Seriously...how many girls could say, "oh, my fiance' MADE THIS RING for me"?

So I know I'm probably no help, but I do feel for ya.

 

[NinjaDuo]

No chance of finding out why she thinks she's worthless? That's really really weird.
I'm sorry you're going through this.

I don't know if it'll cheer you up, but I would probably marry a guy if he *hand-made* a ring for me. (As long as he wasn't like, a coors-swilling, wife-beater-wearing meanie.)
Seriously...how many girls could say, "oh, my fiance' MADE THIS RING for me"?

So I know I'm probably no help, but I do feel for ya.

She has issues, but I like what my buddy always says, purity starts today. I fully loved her. I never let a day go by were i didnt tell her how pretty she was or that I loved her. I never let her pay for anything, and i tried to be a gentlemen always.
Ive lost all hope in dating.
I cant talk to any of my friends, because they know/say I could get better. Which is ridiculous, because all I wanted was her. I didnt think this would happen.... I feel used..

O her issues( an abusive ex, who also dated my sister) its weird

 

[5HiddenLizards]

Regardless of her issues, I'm sure she does know that you aren't like that, especially being together for 4 years. And that you'd do anything, within reason, for her.

What exactly about it makes you feel used? I don't understand.



{via Tapatalk}

 

[NinjaDuo]

Well, being a flawed Christian I messed up with her an we did things that were against our morales that we had set before dating.

But it was more than that. I put all of myself into her...4 years is a lot of time wasted on someone who doesn't even care. She blatantly said she didn't care and that I'm dumb if I stay with her and if I come see her in person she would never speak to me again. Idk what to think. But this is the 3rd time she's done this and I'm not taking her back, because every time this happens I beg and she never changes.

 

[5HiddenLizards]

Ok, I understand now. Reminds me of my bf and some stuff he said to me about not caring & him putting all the effort into the relationship.

I see how that would be frustrating. I've been the source of similar frustration for 3yrs. Except we messed up & had a kid.

But anyway, I do understand whats going on. Im sorry for you feeling bad. I know I would give up & forget about relationships altogether if my bf decided to leave. He doesnt believe me, but I know what I feel. I hope you get through this & can see a bright side to it.





{via Tapatalk}

 

[sunshinegeckos]

I am sorry that really sucks. I know this will sound so cliched but maybe down the road when it doesnt hurt so much you will realize that this is for the best. If she has done this before I dont see her changing. But im sorry your going through this. Dating does suck.

 

[4mb3r]

I totally understand how you feel. This is sorta me and my bf's relationship except I'm in your shoes. Been together for 5 and a half years. Except we have twins together so it makes it so much worse and hard lol.. I wish the best of luck to you though!!

 

[NinjaDuo]

I can't imagine if we had kids. Idk I just feel terrible...

 

[NinjaDuo]

I am sorry that really sucks. I know this will sound so cliched but maybe down the road when it doesnt hurt so much you will realize that this is for the best. If she has done this before I dont see her changing. But im sorry your going through this. Dating does suck.

That's what everyones been telling me. I just don't see a logical reasoning behind this

 

[GeckoStud]

Time heals all wounds. Logistically speaking you are but 1 fish in an ocean of nearly 7 billion, I'm sure you'll find another someday if you open your heart again. I am in no way saying that what has happened was for the best, as no one can truly say that. But I can say this, life goes forwards not backwards. Dwelling on the past will not accomplish anything, I know it sucks but that's life. And life is too short to not try and make the best of it. I wish you the best of luck good sir, hopefully things will begin to look up for you.

 

[NinjaDuo]

Thanks, things have been going better. She tried talking to me, but only through text. Idk, and you're right. I have a few dates coming up, but I can't help but think even if I start dating others....if She ever wanted me back I'd probably give in and take her back. Even though I know it'd be dumb of me.

 

[Desdemona]

I agree with GeckoStud 100% It does really suck, but if she's done it before, twice, she will do it again a 4th. Do you honestly want to put your self throught that? I of course don't know.. but I suspect that there is a modivating factor, maybe she did something but feels to guilty to tell you. If she has depression or another disorder it could be something you'd see as non-important but her mind blows it up out of proportion (or if she just has self esteem problems). I know how much that sucks, I was married and had JUST had a baby when my son's dad said he didn't want to be with me. I felt the same way, I'm never getting into another relationship (add that this will be divorce #2). But, its been 3 years and I'm over it. He was a dick, it does't mean the rest of the human race is a dick. I will just be more cautious and choosy in the future of who I give my heart too.

Spend time with other people, doesn't have to be romantic, but just a good reminder that there are better people out there and you don't need her. I tried to take my son's dad back, people don't change, and it was a waste of my time. If they have problems they will always have them unless they take some very serious effort into fixing themselves. You can tell if they honestly want to be better and make them fix their problems BEFORE you get emotionally involved again.

 

[NinjaDuo]

Thanks, it means a lot hearing similar stories. It does suck a lot. But More frequently its the guy who tends to ditch or bail on their gf/wife. Statistically speaking its out of the norm for a woman to do this. And I hate that I still somewhat want her. I just want to be done with it. Because she wont change

 

[Desdemona]

There are some good documentaries on the biology behind human attraction and relationships. Granted its pretty complicated but we are not completely free of our instincts. They have studied levels of attachment hormone and how easy it is for people to stay faithful and loyal. Having a lot of those hormones will make it harder for you to leave a relationship than for someone who has less. You just may be someone with a lot while your girlfriend might be someone with only a little.

Sent from my DROID PRO using Tapatalk

 

[NinjaDuo]

*update* I turned down 2 dates. I don't think I'm ready. My best friend boxed all of her things up and took them. she sent me a message apologizing, but that's it. Would it be wrong to confront her? If I drove and tried talking face to face? Is that creepy?


Why can't girls learn to commit....

 

[M_surinamensis]

Seriously...how many girls could say, "oh, my fiance' MADE THIS RING for me"?

Um... my ladyfriend can. Although we're not engaged, exactly; it was not an engagement ring. I started by finding gold in a river and learning to tell unfinished gemstones from gravel.

I got the impression that it was pretty common, but I did form that impression at the Denver Gem and Mineral show, so it may be a subculture thing. Like how a lot of herpers have gotten snakes as birthday gifts.

 

[BrightReptiles]

I have to ask, how old are you op? My advice for you can vary greatly with age.

 

[NinjaDuo]

21, lol young yes, but everyone is married young in my family (mom when she was 17 , and both of my sisters were 18) but I'm taking my time. I wanted to be in a good stable relationship by 25...

 

[NinjaDuo]

Um... my ladyfriend can. Although we're not engaged, exactly; it was not an engagement ring. I started by finding gold in a river and learning to tell unfinished gemstones from gravel.

I got the impression that it was pretty common, but I did form that impression at the Denver Gem and Mineral show, so it may be a subculture thing. Like how a lot of herpers have gotten snakes as birthday gifts.

It is quite common, we have a gem and mineral show coming in a month. And that's what gave me the idea to make the ring and then get some sort of stone(s) and set them on the ring.
Gem shows are great.