auuugh.

[lillith]

I found out about 1/2 hour ago that my crazy mother has breast cancer.
Infiltrating invasive ductile carcinoma and just for good measure, a ductal carcinoma in situ.

Granted, these are two of the most common types, but the grading and staging are still hanging out in the lab.

So she tells me and leaves me hanging.
And yes I love her, but we have a very opinionatedly strong dislike for each others life views, and are more similar than I like to admit.

My main reaction is actually anger. Anger that she might die before I can resolve any of our issues to my satisfaction (which is likely a fantasy, anyway). Anger that her martyr-like refusal to take care of herself, and take care of everyone else, contributed to this. Anger that she's a wildly out-of-control diabetic who skips meds and eats greasy, cheesy, beefy pasta and porks chops and potates like it's going extinct.

Sure, there's shock, sure I'm saddened...but why the hell am I so ANGRY!!?

*siiiiiiigh* I would see my therapist about this, but my insurance is in a gap right now, erg.

blah blah blah.

And BLAH. ;P
:main_thumbsdown:

 

[fl_orchidslave]

Janece, that's such a sad situation for you both to be in. It takes some time for the disease to be processed mentally and emotionally. There is always a lingering fear, and anger. A support group may be of more comfort to you that therapy, and they are all over. Your local Hospice can give you some information on available groups in your area.

I'm very sorry.

 

[lillith]

Wow, that's like, REALLY practical. duh. I will look into it tomorrow when places are open.

Thank you for the idea.

 

[fl_orchidslave]

I'm glad you posted and got it off your chest

 

[Kristi23]

I hope she'll be okay.

 

[prettyinpink]

I think even if you weren't mad at her you'd feel at least a little anger. I know a lot of people who get angry when they're faced with things like this.

My cousin has breast cancer too. It's not easy to deal with.

I hope everything will be okay *hugs*

 

[lillith]

Stage three, aggressive. No idea what grade.
Thank you random FB status update from my sister. *smacks forehead*
I'm so glad people tell me the important things. grrrr.

 

[fl_orchidslave]

That sucks. I'm sorry, Janece.

 

[lillith]

Oh, I think it was the insomnia combined with the discovery online that was most annoying.
She's a persistently stubborn sort of person, I'm pretty sure she'll be okay. Radiation and chemo start next week.