My sadest day in gecko-breeding..

Dragoon Gecko

Active Member
Messages
1,262
Location
Europe
I know that this day comes to every breeder, and that it would come to me one day.I always believed that this knowledge would make it easier to handle the loss –I was a fool, and I was so wrong..

Last week, I lost my blue female after a long fight: All my geckos are tested regularly by our vet Dr.Grabensteiner at the university in vienna, and till now everything was fine. No gecko showed any sign of being uncomfortable, exept she: It seems that all of a sudden she decided that she doesn't want to live any longer. She stopped growing and eating.

When I realized she was loosing weight, the first thing I did was taking her to our vet. We made some fecal tests, which were all negative. I tried to hand-feed her, first with mealies, than with waxworms. As she got weaker I fed her egg yolk. We gave her electrolytes 0,2 ml daily, fist oral, than subcutan. But she got weaker and weaker every day, it was like a tilt at windmills.. We made some swabs at our last visit. Some days after that, I found her dead in her cage.. I cannot put in words what I feel and how hard this hit me: I spend the next days with crying, and still now I’m near to tears when I think of it..

I’m breeding geckos for 7 Years now, and I do it for the deep love and fascination for this amazing animals. I always tried to give my geckos the best care possible (I spend thousands of euros over the last years to monthly fecal tests), and I NEVER had to go through such a horrible situation before: My geckos life in a plastic-box rack sythem with papertowel, so I can watch how much they eat and if the poop is allright. I clean the boxes every second day with some special disinfectant I got from Dr.Grabensteiner, it does not hurt the geckos.All my geckos grow up in single boxes, hey are not stressed and properly fed. The mealies are fed with Royal-Canin dog-food and biological cereals, the crickets get fresh salad and fruits. I use Vionate and pure Calcium, which always worked fine. So I wonder why this could ever happen to her..
I brought her body to the Veterinary Universitiy for autopsy, and I will get the result and the results of the swabs probably this week.

I'm sorry to bother you with another of the many loss-threads here at the forums, I just don't know what to do.. Please excuse my bad English, it’s almost impossible to find the right words for this topic in a language you don’t grew up with. I tried my best to explain my situation, and how guilty and helpless I feel right now..
I heard similar stories before about promising hatchlings, and I wonder why it must be always the best that die before breeding.
Please tell me what I did wrong, what could I have done better…
RIP my poor, little girl- I will always remember you!!

Thanks for reading, Rebecca
 

Malibu Barbie

Eclipseaholic ????
Messages
928
Location
Denmark
What a sad story Rebecca.... :(
I have lost a few of my beloved geckoes over the years to illness and its always hard to part ways with a good friend.

The experience I have had with deceases of different kind have taught me a lot and thats valuable. Now I can spot every little symptom of something wrong and Im able to help others.

Experience makes us wiser, remember that :)
 

Sandra

New Member
Messages
630
Location
Spain
I'm really sorry to hear that :( I know how you feel. Right now I'm dealing with a gecko that won't eat and I've tried everything and anything. It feels hopeless to watch them die without knowing what is happening. I have the feeling that one day I will open her enclosure and find her dead, the idea horrifies me.

These last days I've cried a lot over it, I know it's quite pathetic but I can't help it. And she hasn't even died, I'm sensitive duh.

I hope the necropsy clears up the reason of her death and we all can learn from it. Keep us updated about it. And please accept my condolences, you did everything you could.
 

MichaelJ

CelebrityGeckos.Com
Messages
822
Location
Seminole, FL
I'm so sorry for your loss.. no amount of preparation can prepare you for your first loss.. We lost three this year, one due to lack of eating for no reason and several doctors visits and one that I accidentally over did flagyl over a two day period which I beat myself up for, for days on end. Our last one was purchased at a show and died two days later..

it hurts every time; it's human nature to place blame on yourself, but like you said she decided she didn't want to continue life and apparently it just was her time..
 

KiKi

frustrated mom
Messages
1,394
Location
Brooklyn, New York
im so sorry for your loss we just lost one of our geckos who stopped eating and we were trying to force feed her and her fecals came back negative too so i know what you are going through im sure you did everything possible for your baby
 
C

crs

Guest
I am sorry about your loss, I hope you get feeling better about it soon.
 

elphani

New Member
Messages
108
Location
Bern, Switzerland
I'm so sorry! She was such a sweet little girl and I know how much it hurts to loose a beloved animal! It's so sad when all efforts to save a geckos life fail :eek: .
Unfortunately sometimes we can't do anything than accept - this is unbearable! But with time the pain will ease... My thoughts are with you!
 

Dragoon Gecko

Active Member
Messages
1,262
Location
Europe
I want to thank you all so much for your support, your compassion and your kind words.The consolation you all give means so much to me- I lack words with which to thank every one of you..
I just hope that the results of the tests will at least help me to understand my geckos better, and maybe help us all to avoid such experiences in future..

my best, Rebecca
 

paulnj

New Member
Messages
10,508
Location
NJ USA
I am very sorry to here of your loss.The loss of a friend is always hard, but the fond memories are there for life.
 
Y

yupik

Guest
I am really sorry for your loss. It is always so hard if one of our little friends is gone. I had a really hard time when my parents' cat died.
 

Dragoon Gecko

Active Member
Messages
1,262
Location
Europe
Hi!
I got a call from my vet yesterday: It seems that she had a weaker immune-sythem than normal geckos, and because of that she became yeast-fungi in her stomach and her bowel.
I'm very glad that it was no ilness, but I'm still so sorry for her..

Rebecca
 
O

okapi

Guest
Dont beat yourself up over it. You take better care of your geckos than most people.
 

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