Telling a loved one their leo care borders on fail....

[PaladinGirl]

So the other day I went to my sister's house for the first time in awhile. Her and her fiance have had a leopard gecko, Hagar, for a few years or so. In fact, their gecko is one of the reasons I decided to get one.

They got Hagar as a baby from a chain pet store. She is a big, beautiful gecko now that looks nice and healthy. However, after doing all the research before getting mine, I've come to realize that some of their care is suboptimal.

They did good by putting her on paper towel when she was a baby, but then they switched her to sand after a few months. I think it's that calci-sand stuff, and they have a very thick layer of it in there. There's a hide on each end, however no moist hide whatsoever. They have one of those little digital thermometers, but the probe is just kind of hanging inside the tank. They also use a basking light, though not all the time.

Her fiance wasn't home at the time, and he's the main caretaker of the lizard. He can get kind of defensive about things like advice, even if you're being nice, and he holds a grudge. I want to say something but I don't want to cause drama! I did say to my sister that Hagar needs a moist hide and her probe should be touching the floor of the tank. I mentioned that the sand may not be good either. Not sure if it's even worth giving them any advice anyways, since Hagar looks so nice and healthy. Any thoughts? :main_huh:

 

[houseb]

You could always introduce them to this forum, then your sister's fiance can be mad at us and not you

 

[Thorgecko707]

Be excited and tell them about some awesome moss that you put in the hide and it helps with sheding. Say you are getting some and ask if she wants some too. Leos can live for many years with minimal options to the tank. I used sand for the last five years with no problems. I switched to repticarpet because it's easy to clean and sand+ racks= fail. Hope it works out great for you. The gift approach works too.

 

[M_surinamensis]

"I saw this and thought of you." making a casual gift of a good book. Which is accurate and only slightly disingenuous.

If it doesn't produce results by itself, conversationally ask them about things in the book, "I read that.... what do you think?"

If necessary present some of your own findings as discussion points to refute anything they are being stubborn about. "The book said not to use sand, because of impaction. But you guys have kept Hagar on sand for ___ years/months, so I googled it. The photos were the worst!" You can omit exactly when you learned these things, which will give an impression that you and they are learning together and exploring a now common interest, rather than you beating them over the head and knowing best.

Or get them to go with you to some herp society meetings. You're interested enough to think about getting active in one anyway, so bringing company gives you both simultaneous exposure to outside sources of experience and information.

Although I would point out that sand and lights can both be used in a way that manages to minimize risk and adequately provide ideal conditions for an animal. Calci-Sand less so though. It usually requires calculated manipulation and choices by someone who's really comfortable adjusting environments in a terrarium, but it's possible that they stumbled on those conditions accidentally. Broken clocks and all that. Without seeing (and ideally measuring several things) the enclosure and the lizard, I wouldn't want to hazard a guess about how well it's doing; they can also take years to slowly die from side effects when an environment is just a little bit wrong for a long time. A few years, could go either way really. Either they found something that works or they're shaving time off the back end of its potential life span.*

At some point though, you may reach a choice between alienating them if you push it or dropping the subject. That's when it gets tough, if they're someone you want to keep around.

*"I've just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don't know what that would do to you. So, let's just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity so be honest. How do you feel?"