Irritated

[dprince]

I'm so irritated.

Yesterday, John (Ccrash069 or something) was supposed to come over and pick up a Bell male from me. He had contacted me earlier (Friday maybe) and asked me how much my shipping was (he lives two hours away, so I thought this was weird.) I told him for inter-California, it was a flat $35. He said oh good, then he would bring me some geckos he was selling to Nigel for me to ship. :main_huh: I gently re-directed him to FedEx, and told him it was easy to set up an account with them, and to get certified, etc, etc.

I hadn't heard from him yesterday, so I PM'd him, asked him if he needed directions, if he was still coming, etc. He said he was, and said he just needed to box up the geckos for Nigel before he came. :furious3:

I was direct and told him that I wasn't comfortable shipping geckos for someone else. I told him I didn't want the responsibility of that, and that I would be happy to talk him through shipping, setting up an account, the works. He said OK, and that he would be leaving his house in about 20 minutes.

I went out for an afternoon run, and when I got back, I had a VM. Before I picked up, I KNEW it was John. He said that he set up his account, and that for him to ship the gecko to Nigel it would be $60, so he didn't have the $85 for the gecko from me. He'd have to wait. :wall:

So I called him back. He told me again; I asked him what size was the box he was trying to ship? It was like 12 x 12 x 5 for TWO GECKOS. So I then talked to him about cutting down a box for size (he had foam lining from a box he'd gotten from Nancy) to help him cut down his cost. I also reminded him that I have a 7 day hold policy on geckos. I could meet him partway if he wanted to pick him up this week, or he could come this weekend. After that, I'm relisting the gecko.

He's a really nice guy, he is. But I KNEW in my gut - just knew it - that he would flake on me after I told him I wouldn't ship out his geckos for him. BTW, he never asked "hey, could you do me a favor?" He just ASSumed I would do it. VERY frustrating. :main_no:

And I'm sorry, I just won't assume the roll of middleman, especially for someone I barely know!! What if something happens? The anxiety would be keeping me awake just thinking about it. :main_no:

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[Mel&Keith]

That's so weird. I can't imagine why anyone would assume that you would ship geckos for them.

 

[dprince]

He's really a nice guy; it just rubbed me the wrong way, ya know? It's that assuming thing.............I do well with DIRECT COMMUNICATION, which is also what I try to do in return. Then, it felt like he was trying to make me feel guilty about not shipping them - that may not have been his intention, but that's certainly how it came across.

Maybe I'm just PMS-y or something. Maybe it's our crazy weather. Today, it's 86. Five days ago, it was in the high 50's. Two days before that, 88. Do I pull out my summer clothes, or don't I? Argh!!!!!!!!!

Debbie "so glad the Monday work day is almost over" Prince

 

[nwheat]

It's 86 there??? It's in the low 60s today - yesterday the high was 51. May. California. 51. Summer has arrived. :undecided:

Sorry - I was distracted by thoughts of 86 degree weather :dreaming:

John is a nice guy, but his plans do seem to get delayed. The first time he came here was New Year's Eve. They left their place so late that it was dark and dinner time (7:00 maybe?) by the time they arrived (originally it was supposed to be early afternoon). I felt bad about not having them stay for a while, but I figured if they were going to continue on with their plans for dinner in Monterey, they better get going! This last time we were trying to set up a time for him to come down, but it just didn't work out, so I shipped his geckos to him. So far, at least, when he says he's going to buy a gecko - he does. And if it turns out that he can't - he says so. You know he's dying to get his hands on that gecko he wanted to buy. It's frustrating - for both of you I'm sure. Although if Nigel is buying the geckos he should be paying shipping, shouldn't he?

Not sure what to say about him just assuming you'd ship the geckos for him - perhaps he thought he'd asked you about it before? :main_huh:

You don't have to be certified to ship UPS, so that might be easier for him. When I shipped geckos to Greg May via UPS before I did the prepaid labels it was $60-65 - just like to the east coast. Maybe San Diego doesn't count as "within California". Seems outrageous to me. I wonder why he was only using the foam and not the whole box that I sent his geckos in?

Venting is good!!

 

[dprince]

Well, now he's bailed on buying the bell male. *sigh* I sort of had that feeling.......

It sucks because he is a nice guy, so what do I do when he wants to put geckos on hold in the future? He did something kinda like this last time.....he put two geckos on hold, then when a gecko he had PM'd me about came available, he dumped one he had put on hold to buy another. I'm kinda thinkin' he'll have to pay right away, or something, because I lost a sale on the gecko because I was holding him for John. Any other suggestions? I'm not trying to be poopy, but boundaries are important.....so, what to do?

 

[nwheat]

Just don't put the hold on your website. If someone inquires about that gecko while you have it on mental "hold" for him then email him and tell him someone else is interested and is he SURE he plans to purchase the gecko. If he says yes and bails - no more holds for him (or whoever). Maybe we should put something along those lines in our terms - if you do not purchase a gecko that was held for you, geckos will not be held for you in the future.

 

[dprince]

That's a good idea, Nancy. :main_yes:

 

[Mel&Keith]

If he decides to "buy" from you again I would tell him straight up that you lost a sale on that gecko and that you have changed his hold policy to a 50% deposit or immediate payment. Even a nice guy will have to understand that even though you're "friends" you have to consider the business end of things first.

 

[dprince]

I agree, Mel.