May 15th 2006. 3 years ago

Ehatcher

New Member
Messages
898
Location
Maryville, TN
Im sorry if this is hard to read or isnt legible, Im trying to type fighting through tears.

In the early morning hours of May 15th 2006, My cousin John was Killed in an Auto accident involving alcohol. He was more than a cousin to me, my brother, and my cousin Jeremy. He was a brother to us. In our eyes we were all 4 brothers and best friends. He was 20 years old. He was eager to celebrate his 21st birthday, which was only a few short days away, May 23.

He was a bouncer at a local night club and had "status" with other clubs around town. His other bouncer buddies, knowling he was underage decided to sneak him into another club. He told us he had never done this before, and he wasnt one to lie so we believed him. He told my brother and my other cousin about going for his BDay with his buddies the night before and we fucking BEGGED him not to go out with them, and to wait for his birthday so we all could go out together, seeing that I was going to be the Designated Driver because I was under age. His safe return was guaranteed.

May 15th 2006: I was at work doing my cold prep duties, i get a message from my manager telling me I have a phone call. It was odd seeing that i never got a call at work. It was my brother, He told me to come home, it was important. I flew, home and as soon as i walked in the door my brother screamed "he's gone, John's dead".

Back to the night before. They had carpooled from the other club back to the club that they worked at. I dont know why anyone let John drive home after they all got back . He was visibly drunk in the videos played back at the court hearings, vomiting on himself and falling. He was so drunk that the spot where he wrecked was LESS THAN A MILE from where he worked. The very first curve he came to, was his last. He had wrecked his Explorer through a guardrail, down a 30ft embankment,and through a bunch of trees.

The cops and investigators claim that he wrecked somewhere between 1:45 and 2:30 AM. The wreckage and his body were not found until around 6:50 AM. I dont know if he was still alive for any amount of time after he wrecked or he was killed instantly. That part bugs me everytime I think about it. What if he was alive down there begging for help for over an hour? What if there were a chance he could have lived?

The entire week and his funeral made me feel like life was unfair. Why did he have to be taken from us? WHY DID HE HAVE TO BE STUPID ENOUGH TO BE SO DRUNK AND TRY TO DRIVE HOME??? I can't be mad at him though. He was basically my brother, our brother, now he is gone. And the last thing i got to say to him was "see ya tomorrow man, later."

For anyone else that has went through a tragedy today, yesterday, or years ago I feel your pain. The pain is still here, even on the 3 year anniversary of his death, but every day that passes does heal. Dealing with it gets easier, but the memory remains. Tell your family members that you love them, that you appreciate them, and be sure that when you tell them bye, make it count because you never know when will be your or their last day on this planet. I know Im sorry for not telling him these things, and i kick myself in the ass because of it. It does make me feel better knowing that he really did know how much we loved him even though we didn't say it all the time.

RIP Johnathon Fredrick Hatcher
 
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thestack510

Rest In Peace jmlslayer
Messages
3,177
Location
The S.F. Bay Area, California, U.S.A.
I'm sorry to hear of your loss Eric. I know the pain of losing loved ones all too well. It is hard to deal with, especially on days like this, the anniversary of the loss. I don't see the majority of my family unless it happens at someone's funeral. That's a pity. I try to keep in touch with a lot of them, but everyone has their own lives to lead, so it can be difficult. I completely agree with you that we should make the best of every minute we have together. I'm sure that your cousin John knows full well how much you all love him, and that he is smiling down on you right now. It's best not to dwell on the what ifs, but it's only natural to do so. I wish his "friends" would have done a better job at looking out for him. I bet you'd like to rip them all apart, I know I would feel that way. It's best to reflect back on the good times you shared together rather than the loss you've all suffered. They say time heals all wounds, let's hope they're right. In my eyes as long as they are never forgotten lost loved ones live on in our hearts. Take it easy Eric.
 
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Jenn

New Member
Messages
677
Location
Central Florida
Im so sorry for your loss. My mother and Sister in law were killed by a drunk driver pn 11-26-04 which was the day after thanksgiving. If you ever need to vent im here. we fought the guy who killed them in court but he is a very big rich man in my town and he got off on a fake medical condition that causes him to retain alcohol. We are in the prosses of a civil trial now. My family were nurses on their way to work at 6 am and he was just leaving a party was doing 30 miles over the speed limit and his bal was double the legal limit but because his best friend was a judge and he called the judge to be by his side at the scene of the accident his connects got him off without even a ticket. thats a whole new thread tho. I do alot of work with MADD and my father in law does victims impact panels to share our story. if you ever wanna chat just pm me and im there.
 

KelliH

New Member
Messages
6,638
Location
Fort Worth, TX
I feel your pain. I don't think it ever really gets better. I just think your body and mind learn how to compensate the loss so you are able to go on. The loss I suffered I compare to losing a major part of me: an arm, a leg, my eyes... and after awhile you just learn how to carry on without that part of yourself, but the pain inside never goes away. You are so right, anniversary dates are hard to get through. My way of dealing with the anniversary of the death the past couple of years is to try and treat it like any other day. I acknowledge the date in my mind of course, but I choose to not build it up and count down the days anymore. Instead I let the birthday of my lost loved one be the day I reflect upon, and celebrate the great life that once was. I'm sorry for your loss.
 

fallen_angel

Fallen Angel's Geckos
Messages
7,937
Location
Stockton, CA
Agreed. I am terribly sorry Eric. I'm with everyone else - I truly believe that John watches over you, and is with you all of the time. As long as you feel him in your heart, he will never truly die. Many respects to your dear, lost cousin. People shouldn't have to endure such pain.

You can't focus on the "what if's", you just can't.. it's a never ending thing until you let it go, and it's very natural to think of every possible what-if that there is. Focusing on things like that will only hurt you more. With an accident like that, I would say he died on impact IMHO. Also, he was super drunk, I really doubt that he was aware of what was going on, or even woke up from the crash to be conscious at all. My heart and thoughts are with you on this very difficult day.
 
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