Mistakes Made that Affect Other Lives...

Neon Aurora

New Member
Messages
1,376
Location
New Mexico
Generally, I don't post my personal business anywhere. But at the moment, I really just need to write this down and post it SOMEWHERE. This forum has been wonderful to me so I feel like here is the best place. I don't think many people look here anyways. =P

I'm currently dealing with overwhelming guilt at a mistake I've made. My father is a pretty bad alcoholic, but I do what I can to help him. He was sober for almost a year and started making noises about getting a dog. I was supportive of this because I thought having a dog might be therapeutic for him and help him in his recovery. I told him I thought it was a good idea and even helped him pick one out. I was wrong. He's had several relapses in the past 6 months or so. Each time, I kidnapped the dog because I couldn't be sure he was taking care of her or that she wouldn't get hurt. But this latest one I just can't do that. I'm taking 7 university classes and I have animals of my own. I just literally can't take care of her right now.

I feel terribly guilty. Cripplingly so. I wish I could go back in time and tell him I thought it was a terrible idea for him to get a dog. Very naive of me to make that decision. Now there's nothing I can do, and I'm too busy to even take responsibility for my mistake.

Anyways... Just needed to write it somewhere.
 

acpart

Geck-cessories
Staff member
Messages
11,520
Location
Somerville, MA
I'm so sorry you're having to go through all this, and at such a stressful time. I'm hoping something or someone comes up that can help the dog without it all being you. Hang in there.

Aliza
 

wicked gecko

New Member
Messages
58
Location
Wisconsin
Sorry to hear that neon. You're dealing with some extremely tough situations. None of us can see into the future and I believe in some situations with different individuals a dog and the companionship they bring could help alot in positive ways. Of course it's only my personal opinion but I think you may be putting to much of the blame on yourself. Many of us would have reacted similarly in the same situation because we always want the best for our loved ones. As Aliza said I hope someone else can help out and take some of the stress off you. In the end I still really think your taking to much of it out on yourself. Hope I haven't overstepped here and almost didn't post this comment but I don't think you should be punishing yourself and taking all the responsibility. Hopefully it will work itself out and you can concentrate on your own well being and life. Again I hope I haven't offended you and sorry if I have. Hang in there and try to keep moving forward. Russ
 

Neon Aurora

New Member
Messages
1,376
Location
New Mexico
Thank you for your kind words, Aliza. =) I do appreciate them.

Russ, of course you do not offend. I admit that I am prone to putting blame on myself for a lot of things. I just can't help but think that if I hadn't encouraged him and helped him, he would never have gotten around to getting one. I just hate to see dogs (or ANY animal for that matter) go into a bad home. The dog certainly isn't at fault. I suppose I also get flack from other family members for the decision because of things that have happened in the past (very complicated situation). So I thank you for saying that, it does help to know that not everyone thinks it's totally my fault.
 

wicked gecko

New Member
Messages
58
Location
Wisconsin
I come from a large family so I understand how tricky and difficult family situations can become. It can all escalate quickly but not everyone can admit when a mistake was made or are willing to apologize. It's always nice to be able to vent a little versus keeping it all in though. Hopefully things will work themselves out for you soon. Russ
 

indyana

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,338
Location
Massachusetts, United States
Kirsten, this is absolutely not your fault. Logically, at the time, he had been sober for an extended period, and I would have encouraged a dog too for the same reasons you mentioned. All you can do is encourage him to seek support and treatment for his alcoholism. Having the dog around may comfort and reassure him. If not, and you see the dog is being physically abused, starved, or something as equally terrible, you may need to suggest he surrender the dog to a shelter.
 

Neon Aurora

New Member
Messages
1,376
Location
New Mexico
Thank you, Rachel, I really do appreciate it. =) I just hope the dog doesn't have to go through any abuse or neglect. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one who would encourage a dog in this situation.
 

lisa127

New Member
Messages
751
Location
NE Ohio
Where did you guys get the dog? Was it purchased or adopted through a rescue? If through a rescue maybe you can voice your concerns to them and they can help you keep an eye on the situation.
 
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