My Dad- Please look!

M

mstidman

Guest
Lots of love, prayers and positive energy flowing your way...
 
moosassah

moosassah

New Member
Messages
2,181
Location
Weymouth MA
Mallorie, if you think you need to, plan 2 weddings. You can have a small immediate family one, maybe with a justice of the peace and go out for a nice dinner afterwards. This way you'll have your dad walking you down the aisle and be able to have those memories you're concerned you might miss.

We lost my mum-in-law to cancer a few years ago. She lived 8 hours away by car. We drove down and spent her last few weeks with her. Honestly those are some of our happiest memories as tough as it was to be there. I wish you all the strength you need and give you permission to shut a door & beat the crap out of a pillow or just bawl your eyes out when you need to.

Be strong. Build great memories. And know that even when someone leaves us they will continue to come back to you, forever, in little ways that will make you smile again.
 
rubym

rubym

New Member
Messages
1,525
Location
indiana
mallorie, I lit a candle for you and for your dad. Stay strong it sounds like your dad is a fighter. I will continue to remember you both in my prayers.
 
Golden Gate Geckos

Golden Gate Geckos

Mean Old Gecko Lady
Messages
12,730
Location
SF Bay Area
Mallorie, I am so very sorry to hear of your Dad's condition. Cancer can be devastating, not only for the victim but for those that love them as well. Having lost my Mom to breast cancer when she was only 51 years old, I can tell you that the road ahead will be long and very hard.

It's difficult to think of anything else at this time, but it's important to focus on the time you do have, and make quality of life the biggest part of your relationship. It's also critical that those of you who will eventually become caretakers are able to take care of yourselves as well. Most of the time when a family member is terminally ill, everyone always seems to ask how they are doing, but seldom ask how you are doing.

With cancer, the majority of grief is actually experienced before a loved one passes. There will be a plethora of emotions... denial, fear, bargaining, and even anger. It's OK to feel all of those things. I love you, and want you to know that I am here for you when you need someone to just listen and cry with you. You and your family will be in my prayers.
 
malt_geckos

malt_geckos

Don't Say It's Impossible
Messages
3,971
Location
Gainesville, Fl
Golden Gate Geckos said:
Mallorie, I am so very sorry to hear of your Dad's condition. Cancer can be devastating, not only for the victim but for those that love them as well. Having lost my Mom to breast cancer when she was only 51 years old, I can tell you that the road ahead will be long and very hard.

It's difficult to think of anything else at this time, but it's important to focus on the time you do have, and make quality of life the biggest part of your relationship. It's also critical that those of you who will eventually become caretakers are able to take care of yourselves as well. Most of the time when a family member is terminally ill, everyone always seems to ask how they are doing, but seldom ask how you are doing.

With cancer, the majority of grief is actually experienced before a loved one passes. There will be a plethora of emotions... denial, fear, bargaining, and even anger. It's OK to feel all of those things. I love you, and want you to know that I am here for you when you need someone to just listen and cry with you. You and your family will be in my prayers.
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Thank you so much Marcia! That means a lot to me. My Dad is only 54 years old and you're right about the grief being extreme right now. But we have to stay positive or else it makes things worse.
 
eric

eric

OREGON GECKO
Messages
3,466
Location
Oregon
Mal I'm so very sorry! Our family too has experienced this first hand. Erin's mother had lung and brain cancer, and my sister has Ewing sarcoma its not fair no matter how you look at it. From what the Dr's said her mother had the maximum amount of chemo they were aloud to have and that was it. this left us devastated and angry! Let it out, don't wait, get mad at whomever. Trust me. We don't know each other very well but if you ever need to talk or yell at someone give me a call. Our thoughts are with you and your family Mal.
 
S

SLY

Guest
I went through this exact thing (but with bladder cancer) with my grandfather just this last year. Best wishes.
 
2

2bacop

Guest
I know how you feel, my dad passed away 7 months ago from lung cancer. Your dad however sounds like a fighter, my dad was diagnosed only 1 month before he passed away. I know that your dad will get passed this, if his body could fight for 5 years than he can do it again. Lots of hugs!!!!
 
malt_geckos

malt_geckos

Don't Say It's Impossible
Messages
3,971
Location
Gainesville, Fl
Thanks everyone. All of your comments are amazing. My Dad has been through so much in his life. He's been electicuted, nearly drown multiple times in the ocean, and he's been lost in the Bahamas in the water with no life jacket at night in a storm! (bc his dive partner left him there when he panacked at the incoming storm!) so I really hope he can just fight this cancer mentally and stay strong. I will show him all of your comments.
 
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