SOMETHING'S gotta give (LONG rant)

[JordanAng420]

This is it...i've had it & I can't take any more...enough is a-fucking-nough.

This year has absolutely gone to shit. Not just shit, but the messy mucousy splattery kind of shit that leaves a mess behind that you have to clean up afterward. I don't know how much more of this I can take before I really explode, or end up in a rubber room.

We'll start with my mother, who had a total hip replacement and a knee replacement in January. She's 68 years old & not getting any younger. It's really hard for me to watch her get old, and forget things like, which key is the key to the house...? She's my standing ground, my rock, my positive uplift when I need it. Nothing is allowed to happen to her. No. I won't allow it. The fact that she has Lupus doesn't really help either...she's been so sick, she's on 20mg of Prednisone every day and she's so depressed about the weight gain she won't even leave the house. I had to beg her to go shopping with me, when she usually would be the one to bring up the idea.

Divorce. 'nuff said. No details necessary.

Just got into veterinary school...yay for me...but can't afford it. I have NO money. I've tried for grants, loans, scholarships...the works. My credit is horrible and my GPA isn't good enough. Apparently, nowadays a 3.5 is "average" (whaaaa? When I graduated in 2000 with a 3.5 I graduated with HONORS!) So much for vet school and the dream i've had since I started playing "doctor" with my toy lizard when I was 6. Hello "Yes sir, right away sir," for the rest of my life.

All 3 of my ferrets now have serious problems that require medical attention that I cannot provide, since I am currently a full-time student and lost my job not too long ago. That's another story in itself. The reason I was given was that "The other technicians feel as if your background and knowledge is not fit for this practice" So in other words, a bunch of smelly cunts got jealous and possesive because I know more than they do...so why not make up a bunch of lies, and get the new girl fired?

My geckos won't give me anything remotely fertile...this was one thing I thought I could concentrate on to make myself happy, however I CAN'T if nobody's FUCKING OVULATING. I got 3 clutches from each gecko this year and NOT A GOD DAMN fertile egg. Now i'm almost 100% positive they're all done for the year.

I had a root canal last Wednesday. My second one. The first one I had didn't go so well, and I ended up needing the tooth pulled. This one went okay, but now part of the temporary filling came out. So $2000 later (yes, that's how much a root canal costs here in FL) they fixed my tooth. And now, I need a crown on the root canal tooth, and an implant in the one that was pulled. Goodbye another $2000....come to find out, the reason behind all this nonsense with my teeth is that I grind at night (due to stress, really, no shit???) so therefore, I need a mouth guard at nite...See ya later another $500...

So, it's been quite a while since i've been truly "happy". My self esteem has taken a plunge. There HAS been ONE person that's made me smile and blush a little bit recently, and I can't thank that person enough...

I just don't understand why I seem to attract a bunch of assholes that want nothing more than a.) a place to live or b.) money...What the FUCK??? I didn't think I was THAT ugly.

I need a break, and for gods sake I could use some love. Sorry this is so long you guys...I think I just needed to talk.

 

[Kitsune]

Maia,

I'm so sorry you're having a really rough time right now. =( If I knew the words to make the pain go away, I would say them in a heartbeat.
I think you're a wonderful, VERY knowledgeable person. Keep your head up and stay strong.
I firmly believe that things get worse before they get better. They WILL get better.

I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. Please don't hesitate to PM me if you need someone. Sending lots of {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} your way!

 

[Gregg M]

Maia, life can throw some punches at you that hurt... You need to roll with them and if you get knocked down, you get up and muscle through it...

Life has a funny way of turning around when you least expect it... Through experience I can tell you that good does come from bad situations... Stick it out and things will get better...

I can tell you without a doubt that you are fucking FAR from ugly and I can also say you have a really cool personality...

This is something I hear a lot of girls say...

I just don't understand why I seem to attract a bunch of assholes.

The fact of the matter is that you are not an asshole magnet... You are the one who is attracted to the assholes... Meaning that for whatever reason you might seem to think you are helping a loser become a somebody but all you are really doing is enabling them to be an asshole... Catch my drift???

 

[nevinm]

The fact of the matter is that you are not an asshole magnet... You are the one who is attracted to the assholes... Meaning that for whatever reason you might seem to think you are helping a loser become a somebody but all you are really doing is enabling them to be an asshole... Catch my drift???

i think this goes for 99% of the female gender.

listen sweetheart, i think this is the best thing about being part of a community like this, we are all pretty much here for you

nev

 

[thestack510]

I'm sorry to hear about you mother. Most of that situation is beyond anyone's control. All you can do is be there for her and make the best of your time together. I have been through a very similar situation with my own mother. As far as the divorce goes, I'd be willing to bet x-man will regret losing you time and time again. Things are rough for many of us right now financially, it will improve in time. Our country is in transition, don't give up on your education just yet. Where there is a will, there is a way. I agree with Gregg in that you have to tough it out. When it comes to, "I didn't think I was THAT ugly," forgive me but I just had to laugh at this. You are FAR from ugly, and you are very knowledgeable on top of that. If you need a break, take a break. Get in some "me" time. Regroup and come back fighting. Most importantly have faith in yourself.

 

[JordanAng420]

I compleatly agree w/ you, Gregg...and thanks for your compliments. They made me smile. It's in my nature to want to help others before I help myself. I've always been that way. And most of the time I always get taken advantage of because of it...and in the end I end up with the wrong person with the wrong intentions because of my own stupidity.

I guess it can't get much worse, so the only way to go from here is up...and i'm ready. I REALLY need a break...i've already made plans for Daytona & i'm looking foreward to that.

Krista & Nevin, thanks for the love...I do appreciate it, thank you.

Ken, you're right about spending time w/ mom. It's something I need to do more of, instead of just being in denial about it. Hopefully everything else will work itself out after that. Thanks again to everyone...

I feel a little bit better.

 

[paulnj]

Sorry Maia, I am a married asshole :main_laugh:

Life is unfair at time (brutal even), but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You are going to be one tough woman!!!!

 

[BalloonzForU]

I compleatly agree w/ you, Gregg...and thanks for your compliments. They made me smile. It's in my nature to want to help others before I help myself. I've always been that way. And most of the time I always get taken advantage of because of it...and in the end I end up with the wrong person with the wrong intentions because of my own stupidity.

I guess it can't get much worse, so the only way to go from here is up...and i'm ready. I REALLY need a break...i've already made plans for Daytona & i'm looking foreward to that.

Krista & Nevin, thanks for the love...I do appreciate it, thank you.

Ken, you're right about spending time w/ mom. It's something I need to do more of, instead of just being in denial about it. Hopefully everything else will work itself out after that. Thanks again to everyone...

I feel a little bit better.

I think it's time for you to start saying FTW, other than with your mom. Spend as much time as you can with her and try to come to grips with what is going on with her so you are not mentally blind sided if the worse were to happen. I know it's hard to think about or even deal with and it's easier to be in denial, but we are all here for you to lean on.

Sorry Maia, I am a married asshole :main_laugh:

Life is unfair at time (brutal even), but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You are going to be one tough woman!!!!

This is so true!!! Two years ago at the age of 36 I became a widow after 13 years, with him dying right in front of me from a massive heart attack. Granted as some here knew, I had made up my mind that it was time for me to get out of a bad marriage and was making plans to leave him, however I in no way wanted him to die. It tore me apart on many levels, because he truely was a good man just not to me as a husband. He died the day before our son's 10th birthday and I think I hurt more for my son. The strength I got from all this is something I would never have imagined. I was forced to make a big dissision. On one hand I had a Balloon Decor business that employed myself and only a few part timers and he had a private ground transportation company that employed 100+. I feel I made the right desission as now I have a ground transportation company that I've just now got running itself and I'm starting to dabble back into my passion with the balloons. It took a lot of work to get to this point but it's made me stronger as a business owner and as a person all around. I have since then been remarried and have a beautiful 7 month old daughter. My son is still coping and seeing a councelor.

When the time comes you will find the strength within and you will grow in ways you can't imagine. :main_yes: