struggling...

[Jenna4Herps]

Marcia,

It seems we are going through the same issues, although I am not dealing with physical pain. I’m sorry you are.

I have been asking the same questions in the past few months. I have now gone from owning over 200 panther chameleons, hundreds of other chameleon species, and selling green tree pythons, tree monitors, tortoises, blue tongue skinks, and many other species to owning only a selective few.

Each time I look at my chameleons in a screened cage, I start wondering if they are happy. I too, have spent many hours feeling guilt for their lives. And although life circumstances of dealing with terminal cancer in my family has put almost all of my breeding efforts on hold, I wonder if this has also given me time to reflect on just how much I wish to continue in mass breeding in the pet industry. Would I be giving better lives to my reptiles if I kept just a small select colony in order to provide them with more of my attention and time? I think so. But, this is what I have decided for me. It took me a journey to get here.

I think at some point in time, most breeders ask these very same questions. I got into breeding because I loved panther chameleons so much and wanted to be able to share them with others. It was never a money issue for me. People started asking me for more and other types of reptiles too, and before I knew it, I had not just a few, but hundreds. At the time it starts to become a chore and not an enjoyment, is the time to quit or cut back. I’m not sorry one minute that I have done so. I now enjoy my reptiles as “pets” rather than “breeders.” I have also discovered the joy of leopard and crested geckos. I will have a few chameleons and geckos for sale in the future of small select colonies now and then. I’ve brought it back to being my “hobby” rather than a business, where I can occasionally share these beautiful reptiles with others and give each and every one of them my dedicated time and love.

You are an asset to this community. You are a gentle, loving, and caring person who loves to share these wonderful and personality winning geckos with others. You are doing a good thing! The beautiful bold stripe female I purchased from you, Tia, is the most loving, gentle, and personable leopard gecko I have! I decided to give all my leopard geckos glass aquariums for their homes so that I could enjoy watching them and interacting with them. And every night, beautiful Tia walks right up to my hand and climbs in for her nightly pets on the head and attention. It is to YOUR credit she is so loving and personable, as well as stunning! She is pure sugar and joy.

If you need to make some changes to your breeding efforts with habitats, cutting down, or whatever you think is good for you, then do it. I found it was something I needed to do for me too. But, don’t for a minute think you are not an asset to this community OR to your geckos. You love them too much to be doing them harm. Just the fact that you are even thinking about these issues means you care deeply for them. They are very lucky geckos indeed to have a mother who is as loving as you =). Make whatever changes you think you need to make you happy for your geckos. I know that what you are doing right now must be working for the geckos; otherwise, the geckos I purchased from you wouldn’t be such wonderful personalities. So concentrate on what will make yourself happy, and in turn, you will continue making your geckos happy too…

Hang in there - the community and your geckos love you! And thank you for providing me with such personable and happy leopard geckos! :main_thumbsup:

 

[DLS Reptile]

Marcia, I do not know you personally but I have spoken with you through e mail from time to time. In the beginning when I was new to this I asked you many questions including the simple ones. You were always very nice in your replies, never being short in your answers. I would be really sad to see you get out of the breeding end, But sometimes you have to do what you have to do. Oh and one other thing, I really do not think your geckos are unhappy. How can geckos that look so great be unhappy.:main_yes: :main_yes: :main_yes:

 

[JoshuaTrana]

I have to say this is what makes a truely great breeder, someone who really cares. I know what you mean. When I lost my first leo about a 2 years ago probably I thought abou tnever having another lizard... But I rescued oone of those horrble babies from petsmart, and its doing amazing now. All you can do is care for them. And I had a uromastx hit an eye tying to dive under a rock, and I wasnt home. The one eye came out and bled so much that it messes up the other eye. I had to have the vet put him down... It was so hard. I have never seen a animal in person hurt that bad. I cried. I thought about getting rid of my other lizards, a bearded dragon, and my leo, he was still small than, but around here I didnt want someone to have them that would lose them. But my dad took me up to one of the best pet stroes I have been to/ It was in oklahoma city. And they had a baby Uro in 10 gal with a UV light. The only itme I have seen a lizard there not caged properly. He was so cute. My dad ended up buying for me. THats been almost a year now, he had grown so fast to, especially for a Uro. I am so glad I have never got out of reptiles.

The point you just have to balance your love with business. BUt I love to hear about people who care about there animals so much.

 

[MichaelJ]

wow..

My wife and I have honestly being saying these same things to each other the past months. We'll talk about the tubs and how they always seem to just want to be free. We do hold each of them 2-3 times a week for about 20-30 mins each, but we agree; it's a double edged sword on your emotions.

We also have the same issue when we lose one. We've been fortunate and only lost about 2-3 of our actual Leos, and lost about 7 rescues over the past few years.. sometimes there's just no way to save the rescues.. Even after losing several total over the years, it's just as painful each time; almost worse because you replay what happened over and over and think about how i could of done this or that.. and eventually beat yourself into submission and feel at ease again..

I think what you may want to do Marcia is take a step back from the perceptions of what you're doing or not doing to your geckos, and realize how beautiful a person YOU are. I don't think you realize the magnitude of people you've touched, inspired, helped, and made laugh, along the way. You are a matriarch among enthusiasts and honestly anyone who's ever met you, because of the love you do hold for your animals, and magnetic personality that attracts so many.

We personally can say (and have said many times) that you are one of the two people that inspired us to build all we could for our animals.

You're fears, guilt, concern, and heartache, are warranted; don't deny yourself that.. and realize they are the true qualities that make you the amazing person you are, and how much you do indeed LOVE your animals and are a truly special being.. You are not a farm, you're not a wholesaler, and they are not simple product to you.. They are your family and it shows in every possible manifestation of your work and life.

Take solace in the countless people you've touched, leos you've helped save, be born, and given better homes, and more, just from your words, advice, and even propagation of beautiful and healthy animals.

Marcia - We as always, send our prayers to whatever can possibly stop your physical pain, but we also hope my words can help aid you in relieving the self inflicted emotional pain you're going through.

We love you very much and wish you the best.

Mike and Summer Johnson :lips:

 

[Starwild]

Marcia,

We've never really talked (and I rarely talk at all here, though I've taken away a whole lot of learning and great advice, from you and from others!) but I really sympathize with you, and hope you will find peace with your concerns.

One thing I WOULD like to say is that a very good reason for breeding is, well, people like me! I only own one leopard gecko, my Zoey, and she's just a "dime-a-dozen" little hypo-tang, but she is as much a beloved pet as any I've ever had. I am so glad leos can live such a long time, because I want to have her with me as long as I can.

If wonderful people like you stopped breeding leopard geckos, then people who are just looking for pet geckos, as well as people looking for high-end morphs, would have nowhere to turn but those awful pet stores (you all know the ones I'm talking about, I'm sure). I would never want to support those kinds of operations, so it's thanks to responsible, caring breeders like you that I have a very good chance of having my Zoey for a long time, because she wasn't mistreated as a baby, wasn't malnourished, kept on sand, or any number of other things that can happen when people who DON'T care breed geckos.

I love my lil girl and am so thankful to the person who bred her and then had the kindness to sell her to me. I know one of the most difficult things about breeding MUST be that you can never be entirely sure that the buyer will treat them as well as you yourself did, but for people like me who love them even if they're not a $2K enigma, you guys are saints!

I dunno if Zoey is happy, but she certainly seems to "smile" a lot!

Best wishes to you in figuring out what is best for you and your geckos.