I wasn't sure if I wanted to post this or not, and I guess I'm still not sure that I do. I didn't want to bring it up at Daytona, but I did let it slip to one person, which I kinda regret just because I don't want anyone worrying about me. Unnecessary worrying is bad. Very bad.
The Saturday before Daytona (Aug. 11th) I woke up at 6:30am with an unbearable stabbing pain in my left shoulder and on the left side of my chest. I had no idea what was going on, but I figured I must have slept funny and pinched a nerve or something (which I do all the time and isn't that uncommon.) This really hurt though. The only pain I've ever experienced of that magnitude was when I had Salmonella poisoning. I prayed for it to stop, and I'm not really one for prayer.
I wanted to go back to sleep, but there was no way I could with the pain. I remember trying to figure out which hurt worse: my shoulder, or my chest. It was a strange place in my shoulder to have pain, as usually if I do heavy lifting or extensive driving it just hurts the back of my shoulder, but it was the front that hurt so bad. There was no doubt in my mind where the pain in my chest was coming from though. My mind started wandering and I got really scared. I tried to tough it out for a few hours, but ended up calling my mom around 9:30 or 10:00 to ask for advice. I tried to downplay it because I didn't want her to worry. Late in the evening the pain had started diminishing but it was still enough to keep me from falling asleep.
Blah this is taking too long.
I ended up going to the ER (after finally figuring out where in the hell it was) and waited over an hour to see even a nurse. I was exhausted as all heck and can't remember exactly which tests they did, but they had drawn a few vials of blood, done an EKG and something similar to an EKG, and some other shit. After waiting another hour in the cold triage room (I had been there over three hours at this point) some guy whom I'm assuming was a doctor came in to tell me what I already knew. I had had a heart attack. He didn't say much else, but had me return to the waiting room. I fell asleep in the chair a few times, and surprisingly the pain had subsided. My shoulder felt tired, but that was it. After waiting out there for 2 1/2 hours after he told me I had a heart attack, my neck was beginning to hurt and I wanted nothing more than to go home and go to bed. The doctors and nurses kept looking at me as they came in and out of the waiting room calling other people back for things like "I just had unprotected sex" and "my son got bit by our cat" and "my baby has diarrhea" I couldn't wait any longer. I got up and left.
Once in a while since then I've felt my heart twitch or skip a beat here and there, but the pain hasn't come back. I'm assuming the attack roused my tachycardia causing the weird little blips that I've felt since then. I was pretty worried about driving all the way to Daytona and back by myself, and it had me all flustered and caused me to keep stalling when I was supposed to be packing up and leaving. Fortunately I didn't have any troubles driving, and I actually think that worrying about it helped keep me awake.
I feel bad about lying to my mom though. I had to call her to give her the follow-up after going to the ER. I only told her about the EKG and didn't tell her that the doctor guy confirmed what had happened. I tried to minimize it and compare it to the tachycardia I had about five years ago after my dad died. She's still concerned about my stress and health, but nowhere near as fanatical as she would be had I told her the truth. I guess I lied to her to protect her, and there's nothing that she could do about it anyway. I think it's better that she not know; for her own sake.
Thus the 'eye-opener'. I have trouble accepting the fact that I'm human and I have limits. I love my geckos more than anything (except my family, friends and Jersey) but I have to be realistic about what I'm capable of. I don't think the number of geckos would have been an issue had I not been moving this summer, but I want to remind myself that I need a life outside of geckos as well. I'm going to gradually cut back on my leos but keep a variety and add a few other species for my own enjoyment. I need to quit smoking, and have actually been very successful at cutting back in the last month or so. The Daytona trip was a bit of a lapse, but I'm still on the right path. I have to remind myself that it wouldn't take much for me to be very healthy. After all, it's not like I have to lose weight. heh heh Actually, I could probably stand to gain a little.
pffft. Okay it's naptime.
The Saturday before Daytona (Aug. 11th) I woke up at 6:30am with an unbearable stabbing pain in my left shoulder and on the left side of my chest. I had no idea what was going on, but I figured I must have slept funny and pinched a nerve or something (which I do all the time and isn't that uncommon.) This really hurt though. The only pain I've ever experienced of that magnitude was when I had Salmonella poisoning. I prayed for it to stop, and I'm not really one for prayer.
I wanted to go back to sleep, but there was no way I could with the pain. I remember trying to figure out which hurt worse: my shoulder, or my chest. It was a strange place in my shoulder to have pain, as usually if I do heavy lifting or extensive driving it just hurts the back of my shoulder, but it was the front that hurt so bad. There was no doubt in my mind where the pain in my chest was coming from though. My mind started wandering and I got really scared. I tried to tough it out for a few hours, but ended up calling my mom around 9:30 or 10:00 to ask for advice. I tried to downplay it because I didn't want her to worry. Late in the evening the pain had started diminishing but it was still enough to keep me from falling asleep.
Blah this is taking too long.
I ended up going to the ER (after finally figuring out where in the hell it was) and waited over an hour to see even a nurse. I was exhausted as all heck and can't remember exactly which tests they did, but they had drawn a few vials of blood, done an EKG and something similar to an EKG, and some other shit. After waiting another hour in the cold triage room (I had been there over three hours at this point) some guy whom I'm assuming was a doctor came in to tell me what I already knew. I had had a heart attack. He didn't say much else, but had me return to the waiting room. I fell asleep in the chair a few times, and surprisingly the pain had subsided. My shoulder felt tired, but that was it. After waiting out there for 2 1/2 hours after he told me I had a heart attack, my neck was beginning to hurt and I wanted nothing more than to go home and go to bed. The doctors and nurses kept looking at me as they came in and out of the waiting room calling other people back for things like "I just had unprotected sex" and "my son got bit by our cat" and "my baby has diarrhea" I couldn't wait any longer. I got up and left.
Once in a while since then I've felt my heart twitch or skip a beat here and there, but the pain hasn't come back. I'm assuming the attack roused my tachycardia causing the weird little blips that I've felt since then. I was pretty worried about driving all the way to Daytona and back by myself, and it had me all flustered and caused me to keep stalling when I was supposed to be packing up and leaving. Fortunately I didn't have any troubles driving, and I actually think that worrying about it helped keep me awake.
I feel bad about lying to my mom though. I had to call her to give her the follow-up after going to the ER. I only told her about the EKG and didn't tell her that the doctor guy confirmed what had happened. I tried to minimize it and compare it to the tachycardia I had about five years ago after my dad died. She's still concerned about my stress and health, but nowhere near as fanatical as she would be had I told her the truth. I guess I lied to her to protect her, and there's nothing that she could do about it anyway. I think it's better that she not know; for her own sake.
Thus the 'eye-opener'. I have trouble accepting the fact that I'm human and I have limits. I love my geckos more than anything (except my family, friends and Jersey) but I have to be realistic about what I'm capable of. I don't think the number of geckos would have been an issue had I not been moving this summer, but I want to remind myself that I need a life outside of geckos as well. I'm going to gradually cut back on my leos but keep a variety and add a few other species for my own enjoyment. I need to quit smoking, and have actually been very successful at cutting back in the last month or so. The Daytona trip was a bit of a lapse, but I'm still on the right path. I have to remind myself that it wouldn't take much for me to be very healthy. After all, it's not like I have to lose weight. heh heh Actually, I could probably stand to gain a little.
pffft. Okay it's naptime.
