Gr why don't people just leave me alone!

[LizMarie]

Okay I read through this and it hardly makes any sense, Lol.. I just feel a little down and confused..

I dunno what it is but the people in my life have been annoying me. I so need a vacation away from these people ! ! !

First I'm starting to really dislike my boyfriend like I really want to put his head in a grinder! (No that's kind of graphic but maybe having his mouth wired shut wouldn't hurt.) It's like I don't exist when I'm around him. I ask him something or talk to him and I get minutes of silence then I nug him for a response and I get "Oh you said something?" Duh I said something if you would freaking pay attention to me once in your damn life maybe you would know what I said and have a response but NO that's to difficult for you! How hard is it for someone to listen!? Its not like he's doing anything. I get more out of my freaking Dog than I do from him, that's pretty sad. Then I just piss myself off because then I wonder why do I even bother? When he wants to be heard I listen but I can't get the same back thats not fair.

Oh and he is obsessed with Christmas. It's nice to have the Christmas spirit but if I have to hear anything about a Xbox 360 I'm going to jump out of my window and try to fly away!!!! I understand he wants to see me on Christmas because I want to see him too but why are you getting mad at me because I don't want to be at your house all night? I think he forgot that I have a mother that sadly has to work on Christmas and I won't be able to see her for most of the day and told him that I would like to get home in the early evening so me and my mom can atleast watch Christmas movies together and just hang out. Oh but of course I have to hear how I'm throwing it in his face. I'm confused. What the hell am I throwing in his face? Am I missing something. I didn't know wanting to be with my mom on Christmas was a crime! When I'll most likely be at his house early in the morning to spend time with him but of course that's NOT ENOUGH! NOTHING IS EVER ENOUGH! It's like a blood sucking creature that just never gets enough, wants more and more but is never satisfied!!

Then comes my mommy. I love her dearly without her I would be lost but OMG she just keeps bugging me. "Do this, do that. Come do this favor for me. Can you do such and such a favor for me." I'll do anything she wants within reason but I only have TWO hands and a limited funds!!! I don't have a job yet and live off money my mom and dad give me with whatever interest I accumulate on my bank account. So why are you bugging me to help your friend pay HER Cable bill? I know my mom is a good hearted person that is always giving but why are you volunteering my money!? If it's my mother and I have it I have no problem giving it to her because half of it is most likely her money anyway but if I don't have it because all the other crap you had my pay what do you expect me to do? Then she gets mad at me like you know she'd do it for you if you needed something paid, I know that but if I don't have it you want me to have an over-draft fee and you'll still be mad at me.

Like I don't get people they always want more! Its as if what I give is never good enough, they either want more or something different. Like am I not good enough? What am I doing wrong? I feel like such an idiot because I can't find the solution to make the most important people in my life happy. They're always angry at me for one reason or another, I either missed to do that or did do that right. Like I dunno what to do. I've been having a hard time September 07 thats more than a year and I'm trying to get through it because life is full of crap that you just have to deal with but I kinda feel like i'm slowly loosing my sanity. I can hardly sleep anymore and I'm really tired of crying. The only thing that helps me escape alittie is coming on this forum reading through things and chatting in the chat room but besides that I feel like I have nothing else.

 

[Mel&Keith]

My 2 cents (if it's even worth that)...

Start setting boundaries with people now to make life easier in the future. It sounds callous and jaded (and it probably is) but you have to make yourself happy first and take care of your own needs before you worry about anyone else. You're only 20, lose the boyfriend. There's probably someone better for you out there anyway. Just tell everyone you're taking a break...from all of them!

 

[Halley]

My personal advice is dump the boyfriend. From your description it seems like you deserve better.

Sometimes you have to respect yourself, before others will respect you. :main_thumbsup:

 

[Kitsune]

I agree, Liz. The boyfriend isn't worth your time. Someone so selfish doesn't deserve someone as sweet as you.
You know.. The whole.. Fish in the sea deal. ^.~

 

[T&KBrouse]

Not trying to get all "Momma Preachy" or anything, but I'm inclined to agree with the others about your boyfriend.
Part of dating is figuring out what you will and will not accept from a potential mate. Some say its playing the field. I think its more like figuring out what fits. I don't know how long the two of you have been together, but if this is an evolving behavior that you don't like, its not going to get any better. It sounds like you are learning some of the characteristics you don't want.
Like Mel mentioned, you are going to need to set some boundries. And I understand how frustrating that is. I had this same talk with my daughter not long ago. I used the addage, "I don't want to be a b****. I don't LIKE to be a b****. But you are forcing me to be a b**** and then you ask, "Why are you being such a b*****?"
If this is the impasse you're at, its time to set your limits.

 

[Snowy & Petra de Gecko]

Wow, LizMarie

Well, I will give my 2 cents and it is worth more than that.

I am almost older than dirt and I am much older than you and I am a guy.

I have to agree with most of the other posts. However, I would also add that guys are different than gals.

Gals will talk and connect with each other through their communication.

Guys don't talk but, will act like Guys. You do not need a Boy. You will need a Man. And there is a difference.

You are too young and you should be dating to see or find a Man (somewhere about when you are 26 to 28 years old).

I could go on and on ... and as my son would say ... "I don't want to be home schooled."

It is and isn't about setting boundaries with people. It is more about understanding where you are going and how responsible you are going to be about the decisions in life that you make. Sure as you develop character you will make your life easier in the future. Some of the decisions that you will make, that is based upon your character and responsibilities, will sound callous and jaded. But they are not.

You make youself happy by knowing where you are going and knowing that over time you will get there. As you live out your life, you will take care of yourself and your family.

T&KBrouse is correct.

Now for the hard part ... go out and buy Dr Laura's various books and read them. After you are done take the time to think about them. Sure Dr Laura can be a pain and may seem way too direct and many people do not like her. But, overall she has a lot of advice to offer and most of it is good.

 

[Snowy & Petra de Gecko]

I have to add this

I also have to say that I am new to the GeckoForum and as I add posts to the various threads, I have read several that you have posted.

I am impressed by what I have read and I am impressed by what you know and the fact that you care so much for your animals.

If I had seen this thread from someone else, I probably would not have answered it.

But, in a Leopard Gecko way and in the way of the internet, I "know" you and feel comfortable in saying what I have said.

I feel for your frustration. But, you are just starting out in life and there are many joys and sorrows down the long road that is ahead of you.

Life is what you will end up making for yourself and you never have to settle for less than the very best. You just have to make the right choices so that you do not end up regretting what you got.

 

[thestack510]

I stress about the people in my life too. I know exactly how it feels to be taken advantage of. You just need to put Liz first. As far as the bf goes, if you're going to be with someone it shouldn't be to your detriment. I'm sure you can find someone who appreciates the time you put into your relationship. You're young and I'm assuming the bf is too, its up to you where that relationship goes. I wouldn't skip watching movies with my mom if I had the chance. There will come a time when you treasure those memories. Its a good thing the bf isn't facing this jury, he would be so dumped, lol. If you're anything like me it'll be hard to put yourself before others, but you have to do what is right for you. Whenever people see generosity there is a long line of those who will take full advantage. Learn to put Liz first and you'll lead a much happier life. I hope you're feeling better soon. That brings to a close my stint as a counselor, have a good night, Liz.

 

[Haligren]

I could have written this post. Especially the part about the boyfriend. Unforunately, he's not my boyfriend but my husband. Most of the time he has his face in a video game screen, and only hears maybe 10% if that of what I say.

Dump the boy before it's too late!

 

[thestack510]

Dump the boy before it's too late!

LM@O premonition.

 

[Snowy & Petra de Gecko]

Sorry about that

I could have written this post. Especially the part about the boyfriend. Unforunately, he's not my boyfriend but my husband. Most of the time he has his face in a video game screen, and only hears maybe 10% if that of what I say.

I am sorry to here that. But, it happens. I have also been known to have my face in a video game screen and to only hear about 10% of what my wife says. Well maybe I hear 40%.

I think that the video game screen is a form of escaping. Hearing only 10% is a lack of wanting to understand and to connect and to communicate.

You really have to focus and to work at connecting and communicating.

Adding children to the mix, increases the work that is needed.

Sometimes a guy just needs to grow up and to put first things first.

Wife and Family.

 

[Haligren]

He's fine when he's not playing video games though, so I guess that's why I put up with him. It's just that he does play them a lot. (More than me!) I can totally understand the appeal of the video games as I'm a gamer as well, but sometimes I feel like taking all his consoles and dumping them in the garbage because he's 'forgotten' something important that I tried to tell him when he was playing vids. (I should know better then, huh? )

 

[Gregg M]

Any one who is so excited to get a video game machine is not very mature... LOL... Now if was a new gecko, then its fine... LOL

A 20 year old should be single and out having fun without being brought down by a significant other...

Also, I want to add that the thing about guys not talking and not wanting to communicate is BS... Real men do what is needed to be done to make life easy for himself and the person he is with... Bottom line is if a guy is not communicating or talking with you, its not because he is "just a guy being a guy" its because he does not want to talk or communicate with YOU!!!

 

[cwazy]

wow... when it rains it pours... im a firm beleiver in that... sometimes people stay with others in fear of being alone... and in the end its just worse... if your not happy, do something about it! your the only one who can! thats that!... the relationship with mom... arg! just simply ARG! i have some thing like that with my mom... ever since my dad passed i have tried to get things right with her, and there just no pleaseing her, shes ungreatfull and will never really get her head out of her butt and not be selffish... but still i try... cuz when i lost my dad *who i also had a very rocky relationship with* i just realized life is short and you just never know when its too late... i live a life of regrets with my dad cuz i didnt try... i dont want to have the same feelings for my mom... i know that doesnt do much for you.. but i understand where your coming from... for whats thats worth... sometimes you just need to give people a hard dose of reality... and that may be in order... about your age and what you should or should not be doing... its just a #... its not who you are and only you can figure out where and what you should be doing with YOUR life... just my opinion! my wife is not much older than you and we are a family of 4 now... now i cant speak for her, but i think she feels pretty blessed to be here... *shrug*

now on the up and up... make sure you get to do the Christmas movies with mom... seriously... its a good thing... but even more importantly... MAKE SURE YOU WATCH RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER!!!! you know the classic... with the island of misfit toys and stuff!!!!


seriously... that last part.. its important... and if you figure out just what is wrong with the doll on misfit island could you please let me know!

smile and keep on keeping on... we will all make it!

 

[Snowy & Petra de Gecko]

Some Good Advice

There is some Good Advice here ... even from GreggM.

 

[paulnj]

I fully agree with Gregg. Real men who care go out of their way to make you happy and truely want you to be. They listen because they care what you have to say too!

As hard as it is for some of us, we need to make ourself happy first and foremost, then allow others to share in our happiness if they are worthy.

 

[Next Level Geckos]

I fully agree with Gregg. Real men who care go out of their way to make you happy and truely want you to be. They listen because they care what you have to say too!

As hard as it is for some of us, we need to make ourself happy first and foremost, then allow others to share in our happiness if they are worthy.

Paul, You know you love video games too!

 

[paulnj]

not really, but I play here and there when people link me to funny ones.