Huh... Alone in my hobby...

[Zbiz]

Well ever since I could remember I was always into herps. Actually every birthday I can remember having I use to ask for a reptile and it wasnt untill I was 7 that I got my first one. I always had my face in the Reptile Magazines and even went around blurtting reptile facts to my family much to their annoyance. I always felt alone in my love for herps and it wasnt untill I got to college that I found awesome communities like this but its not enough. I'm such the odd ball out of my family so nobody in my family shares the same passion for them as I (I live in a family of car nuts). So now that I have emersed myself in my hobby more than ever before I am now attending reptile shows regularly. The issue is I usually go solo. Every once in awhile I drag my father with me who is usually wondering when I get my fix in so we can leave. He also gives his little tid bits of nonherper statements such as calling people crazy for buying such expensive snakes. He trys to show interest in attempts to keep me happy but I can read him like a book. I cant go to anybody and just rave about the next new ball python morph or talk about my next projects cuz I might as well be talking like the teacher in the peanuts no body understands or cares to. When I attend shows alone its hard for me to go up to people and start talking. Most breeders ignor me due to the fact I look young even though I'm 19 ( 5 foot 3 and no facial hair... FWI my grandfather shaves once a month). And I am also naturally shy. I usually spend an hour at most at the shows and leave so unsatisfied. Most breeders I talk to online lets say are usually double my age so its hard to relate. None of my friends like reptiles and actually for most of my life I kept my hobby a secret just imagining the wierdness of the whole thing. So essensially I have no idea why I'm posting this... there is no real reason... Im not really asking for advice just because I dont know wat to ask. This is definately the definition of a rant.... I actually decided to post this after getting frustrated with trying to figure out how to tell my father theres another addition to my collection coming in a week... I wish I could just tell him with out fear or regret... Well, Thanks for reading! :main_thumbsup:

 

[o0 Ryan 0o]

I know the feeling. My family is supportive, but I still get the weird looks and the rolling eyes from time to time. I've always had an interest in herps growing up too. I consider myself pretty normal, but I guess having over 50 reptiles at any given time will make anyone remotely normal look weird. I'm just glad there are places like this where we all share a common interest. A little home away from home to chat reptiles. It helps me feel normal again.

Where are you in PA, and do you make it to the Hamburg, PA shows?

 

[Zbiz]

Yes I'm actually planning to attend the one in October.

 

[o0 Ryan 0o]

Awesome. Stop by and say Hi, we'll be there.

 

[Grinning Geckos]

You're in that horrible inbetween age ... you're not really a kid, but not totally adult either. Enjoy your "weirdness", and I GUARANTEE that in a few years someone being double your age isn't going to matter at all. I do know how you feel, don't really have advice for you either. I tend to climb walls when I'm at a show.

 

[OSUgecko]

I have always loved herps. I wanted to be a herpetologist at the ripe old age of three and only dropped it in favor of vet med (fully intending to treat herps, lol!). My family thought/thinks I am weird because of it. My mom is totally snake-o-phobic/mostly hates reptiles, and my middle sister/dad just don't really understand my passion for them. My youngest sister is looking to turn out at least partially reptile crazy, so that's kind of nice... but she's only eight years old.

I had a red-eared slider for a couple of months as a kid before someone stole it, but other than that I never had any herps until I went to college - I have since kept a fence lizard, ground skink, box turtle, and three leos. No snakes because my mom would never let me bring one home when I visited, but I'm hoping to rectify that soon.

Anyway, just wanted to say I feel your pain and sympathize. At least your dad is trying to make an effort by coming to the shows with you. He may not understand herps, but it seems like he does want to spend time with you and try to connect with you... which is a really great thing!

Hope things look up for you soon... hang in there, there are others like you out there!

 

[BalloonzForU]

Zach, I think we've all been there or are even still there. Also I agree with Shanti on the age thing. Once you turn 21 things will change a bit for you.

Are you making it to Tinley? There are a ton of great people going.

Stick around and you'll be one of those older people soon!!

 

[brandy101010]

I know how you feel! I know a few people that think my reptiles are "cool" or have had a few reptiles as pets (guess where their pets ended up) and I can get away with talking about them a little but it does not take long for the subject to be changed or for them to say " I really have no clue what your talking about" "do you have any Geico Geckos?" errrrr My twin sister has shown an interest in amphibians. So I have been learning more about them so we can share a common interest. I'm actually really getting into it and have been holding back the urge to go buy a salemander. she decided she wants a small group of whites tree frogs which I think are adorable so hopefully soon I will have someone to talk Herps with. My nephew is a work in progress. He reminds me of a young Steave Irwin, full of energy and passion but he has ADHD and does not listen well when you tell him he is doing something wrong. He thinks he knows what he is doing when he catches reptiles from the wild, sticks them in a tank in his room, and feeds them cheese burgers. errr! I'm not his mother so what can I do? The interest is there though and if I could just manage to spend more time with him I could maybe teach him a thing or two.

 

[Mel&Keith]

No one in my family is into herps at all. My dad doesn't even like cats or dogs that much. It's hard when something really cool pops up in a project or you get something great from another breeder to call excitedly and have them say, "Oh, that sounds neat, what else has been going on?" or "Why on earth would you spend that much on a gecko?!!"

I used to be really shy and I look really young even though I'm 25 because I'm 5'0". I finally just started not caring so much if I sound like an idiot and talking to people. You'll break out of your shell and meet some cool people soon enough I'm sure!

 

[Double LY]

I think many of us are in the same position as you regarding our misunderstood love for herps. My husband is supportive, but even he thinks I'm freaky for always wanting MORE, MORE, MORE or for spouting off about some beautiful leo I saw on here. My in-laws are coming to town this weekend and will be staying in a hotel because we have a snake (a young ball python in a locked tank of course - real threatening).

Are there any herp societies in your area? I just joined the one here in Kansas City and am really looking forward to their next meeting so I can meet some other reptile enthusiasts. Forums are great, but making some friends you can chat with face to face would be an added bonus.

Start threads for any reptile shows you plan on attending and see if anyone from the forum will be going as well, either as a vendor or just an attendee. Then you can make a point of a face-to-face meeting and will be able to recognize them when you see them again. Sometimes the vendors work their tables alone and I have found they are relieved to see a familiar face to get a much needed bathroom break or just a chance to browse another table for a second and know that their booth will be safe while they are gone.

 

[moosassah]

I know you aren't asking for ideas, but i'm throwing them your way anyway...

1. find local your herp society. Many hold meetings at least monthly.
2. seek out the people that do herp shows. They are often looking for volunteers to help the at the herp shows. I'm talking about ones that do shows for schools, parties, boy scouts etc. We had one recently come to a boy scout meeting called The Snake Lady. She adopts all her animals (snakes, lizards, turtles) & brings them out to help give the next generation a better understanding. As the volunteer you would help set up, carry the reptiles around etc. I'm sure there's more to this.
3. Do you have a wildlife rescue center near you?
4. College--call the department that covers herps & ask. Who knows where they'll direct you.
5. If you are going to all these shows, contact vendors before & see if you can help out. Maybe you can be the "weirdo" holding the giant snake. There's NO WAY you can be shy doing that.

OK, slithering down from the soapbox. Don't worry eventually you'll find your nitch.

 

[Golden Gate Geckos]

I think ALL of us here can relate to what you are feeling... especially the 'alone' part. That's what make this website so unique!

I am the only person in my entire family or circle of friends that has a passion for herps, and it has been a source of frustration and arguments with my husband. I used to hear, "Geeze, it's only a lizard for pete's sake!" if I lost one, or took one to the vet.

My husband also cannot understand how I can consider all of you here at GF my 'friends', since we have never even laid eyes on each other in most cases. He doesn't understand the sense of community we all have here, which lacks in our other personal relationships.

Finally, after 12 years, my husband and family are realizing that even though my love for the geckos isn't important to them, it's important to me.

 

[KiKi]

people who dont have pets either dogs,catsor reptiles dont understand our connection to them especially the reptiles ,they just think of them as unfeeling creaturesand cant understand the heartbreak when one gets or dieswe just have to learn to rey on our community to help us deal with this.this is the best reptile website i know and iam very grateful for everyone here

 

[dprince]

My grandparents were up visiting last weekend (they're both in their mid to late 80's) and when I told them I was breeding geckos, my grandpa called me a kook. :main_rolleyes: Can you see why I waited so long to tell them? :main_angry:

Most people hear that I breed geckos, and they say "oh, that's nice" with that funny look in their eye. Good thing I don't give a rip what people say or think about my geckos.

 

[GeckoRing]

Embrace your uniqueness! Having passion for something is such a good thing, along the road you will meet people that will share, or at least understand your passion. Until then, know that there are lots of out here that are used to people looking at us like we have 2 heads!

 

[Leopardbreeder]

AH! Are you my clone? lol I have the EXACT same problem. I have never really had a problem with talking to people at the shows, most people know who I am. I personally think I look older than I really am. I will be attending the Hamburg show also. I am usually there about noon-two and most of the time I am talking to people from the forum like ryan, pat, paul, deb, gregg. Look for me, and ask around to the vendors if I am there, they should be able to tell you.

 

[CSgecko]

i feel the same. my parents and siblings just give a wierd look when i talk about it. my brothers listen at least but they just sit there and use the tactic, "just nod and smile". haha unfortunately my parents have limited the amount of reptiles i can have in the house. im at six tanks total right now, i have 5. it sucks. and im kinda to young do really do much transportation wise. im still a new member here even tho the title doesnt say it. i no u guys by name but havent seen a single one of ur faces. and my parents are over protective grr. its so hard being a herper. but its worth it

 

[goReptiles]

I begged for probably two years before I finally got my first reptile, a leopard gecko... Well, neither my parents or myself knew at that time that, that one standard Petsmart leopard gecko would turn into my obsession... :-( I have a family of dog fans. Dogs and only dogs, well maybe one cat person, but you get the picture...And I pop up with a love for any animal that moves, fur, hairless, scales, with or without legs.. Again, you get the picture... The only thing I've been forbidden against is bringing another snake into the house, as the last one was by default (moved out bought the snake, moved home he came with as did the hamsters and rats they alway forbid me to have.. I showed them. Ha..).

I'm always showing my parents pictures of the latest morphs (colors as I tell them) or gecko that I want to add to my collection. My father says, 'that's nice it all looks the same.' I could be showing him a leopard gecko in comparison to a crested gecko. Or a gargoyle to a crocodile gecko. Whereas my poor mother tries her hardest to get into the hobby. She dislikes reptiles, but if I ask her advice to 'which one of these should I get' or 'what do you think about this' She's always there to attempt, which I love her for that. And being a mother, she tends to have good advice, even for the critters she'd rather not be in her house.

Anyway. I'm 20, never taken too seriously unless I'm talking to someone I know, and who understands my passion. Why? Because I look like I'm at oldest 14 or 15, if I'm lucky.

I bid you luck on the long road ahead of you, but don't fear as you are definately not alone in this world.

 

[Gecko]

I guess there's a benefit to being anti-social like me.

I suggest you just find some geckos and use them to replace family members and friends who don't like geckos.

 

[Haroldo]

I guess there's a benefit to being anti-social like me.

I suggest you just find some geckos and use them to replace family members and friends who don't like geckos.

lmao!