Tokay Problem (the gecko is fine...)

[S-K]

My GF absolutely HATES my Tokay (what's to hate? lol). She says it's ugly, it's mean, and she's just plain afraid of it.

Bare in mind, she hates lizards. Despises them. She doesn't go out of her way to kill them, bc she respects them as a living creature, but she is TERRIBLY afraid of them (on an unrealistic level). She's even terrified of the little anoles that run around native here in Florida.

She thinks my leos are cute, but won't get within three feet of them. They might, you know, bite her hand off or something :main_rolleyes:

But here's the problem...

She wants the Tokay GONE...And I just got him like a week ago =( I know I can bring him back to the store he was purchased from no questions asked, but really don't want to...But my GF and I are long-term and I know that pissing her off is a bad idea on the call...

Help =(

 

[moosassah]

diamonds ;p

 

[S-K]

hahaha...

She's not big on jewelry =\ That would be too easy! LOL!

She's now saying she's not coming to my house until he's gone =( My poor Tokay =(

 

[dmward]

Souns like the little guys up for adoption!

Too bad. Women always win whether we thinkg they do or not.

 

[S-K]

If he goes anywhere, it will be back to my friend's store probably. At least then he can still be "mine," he just won't be at home =)

 

[Pookachu]

Is there someplace in your home that you can keep him that is out of sight/out of mind for your girlfriend?

 

[dmward]

That would be cool if your friend would let the littel guy "live" at the store and not be for sale.

 

[ReptileMan27]

I would tell her to take a hike and keep the gecko lol..

 

[Mel&Keith]

In defense of her unrealistic fear of lizards...I had a bad Anole experience when I was little and carried a very real phobia of most lizards into adulthood. We had a Tokay that ran free in our last house and it took me a long time to get used to it. I would freeze in a room when I turned the light on and saw him staring back at me. He finally went downstairs and lived down there where I didn't bother him and he didn't bother me. So even if you don't understand it try to respect her fear. I know she'll appreciate it. I would suggest keeping it somewhere that she doesn't have to come in direct contact with it constantly. Maybe easing her into having the Tokay around would help her deal with her fear.

 

[Ipsl]

Say "I'll get rid of the Tokey when you ditch all the crap in the bathroom!!" or am I just projecting past experiences.

But seriously why not have a reptile room if possable? Or (sounds bad) train her to get accustomed to them. Start with the leos and get her to pick em up and pet them. Than move on to the tokey.

OR

You could get a venomous snake. She'll be so scared of it she'll forget about the tokey!!

 

[S-K]

That would be cool if your friend would let the littel guy "live" at the store and not be for sale.

Yea =) He takes in a lot of animals on donation/forfeit. A lot of them go home w/him and his wife, but some, like his "store ferret," are there permanently. If the Tokay goes back, he'll live quite comfortably, and I'll get to visit frequently =)

 

[Lordoftheswarms]

My girlfriend is the same with my leopard geckos, and I'm wanting a lot more geckos and a few boas, and she dislikes most animals. My solution was have a reptile room, unfortunately for me, that is at least 5 years away: we are still in university in a bachelor apartment.

 

[cwazy]

sounds like your gonna miss her... lol



really though... its not like your making her touch it, grab it, feed it or take care of it... i would say she needs to grow up a lil and deal with the fact of its not always her way... in relationships come comprimises... this could be one of them *shrug* course you could comprimise by letting her get her way... but i dunno... doesnt seem like shes really wanting to even see what your interested with.... *sings the brad paisley song "im gonna miss her"

best of luck...

 

[BGalloway]

Ok, so she doesn't like the tokay. Have you asked her WHY? (I mean besides the ugly, mean, it'll bite thing) She might just be afraid of it getting out and coming after her. You have been respecting her fear and leaving it in the tank when she's in the room/house, right? Could you promise and prove to her that the tank is securely locked and there is nothing short of a nuclear blast (or a key) that could get your tokay out? If you can get her to realize that there is no way it can get near her she might be a bit more likely to let you keep it. I'd hate to say it, but I might consider giving my leo away to a good home if my boyfriend made an ultimatum like that( "The gecko or me").

 

[myjoyoverflows]

We have a Tokay that's tame...and I love him...HOWEVER, if when we got him, he was mean and took a bite out of me...heh...I would have HATED him. So, I kinda understand where she's coming from with not caring for them...I think they're awesome, but in general, I don't care for their attitudes. I would try to come to a compromise with her...is there a place in your home where you can put him that she doesn't have to see him? I would try to come to some sort of agreement with her...I can't imagine why she wouldn't be open to a compromise....I hope that it all works out for you...it sucks when your S/O doesn't like something that you're into!

 

[metaldad904]

I'm still trying to figure out what she's got against a Tokay, I mean, i know most are crabby little buggers but even if it got out it's not like it's going to be able to "hunt her down" or anything. I used to keep a lot of exotic tarantulas, most of my friends refused to come to my house b/c of them, but at least i can understand that, giant spiders are rather intimidating I suppose, but a Tokay?!?!?! I had a g/f that tried to pull the whole "It's me or the animals" crap on me once, I pointed to the door & said not to let it hit her on the ass on the way out lol. She just sorta stood there in shock for a second, and apparently realized I called her bluff. Needless to say she ended up staying, though I did break up with her a couple wks later (not over animals lol). Imo this is something really stupid to fight over, did she not realize you were into exotic creatures when u got together? Not to sound mean but I don't think I could ever be with someone that tried to force me to choose between them & my passion, period. Plenty O' Fish in the sea, throw this one back & cast another line

 

[AllGeckos]

I'm still trying to figure out what she's got against a Tokay, I mean, i know most are crabby little buggers but even if it got out it's not like it's going to be able to "hunt her down" or anything. I used to keep a lot of exotic tarantulas, most of my friends refused to come to my house b/c of them, but at least i can understand that, giant spiders are rather intimidating I suppose, but a Tokay?!?!?! I had a g/f that tried to pull the whole "It's me or the animals" crap on me once, I pointed to the door & said not to let it hit her on the ass on the way out lol. She just sorta stood there in shock for a second, and apparently realized I called her bluff. Needless to say she ended up staying, though I did break up with her a couple wks later (not over animals lol). Imo this is something really stupid to fight over, did she not realize you were into exotic creatures when u got together? Not to sound mean but I don't think I could ever be with someone that tried to force me to choose between them & my passion, period. Plenty O' Fish in the sea, throw this one back & cast another line

+1

 

[techgirl]

I'm sorry but just because she doesn't like the tokay doesn't mean that you have to get rid of it. I had an ex try to tell me that with my dog. I told him he can leave, dog stays. A true relationship is based on compromise. You can move the tokay into a room where she doesn't see it always, but she does not have the right to tell you to get rid of it. She knew your preference for reptiles before she got involved. When did that change?

 

[RepBex]

being a women she may just be trying to abuse her power over men we are all quilty over it at some point move the gecko somewhere more out the way you could even cover the tank over with a towel while your other half is present and remove when she goes home or to bed

a long term relationship is based on trust aswell as compromise what ever you do dont lie to her that u have got rid of it and you havent

just thinks whats more important to you forget all others fears etc what important to you

 

[KiKi]

the tokay may be the first step to her making you get rid of your leos, if you give her her way with the tokay she may think that you will let her have her way with the leos too. their has to be a compromise she cant always get her way, then its a one sided relationship and she will think you will always give into her and your feelings dont matter