We had to let Ella go, guys.

[Chewbecca]

This is not a memorial, it's been over 2 months and I STILL cannot bring myself to post a memorial thread for her even on my site.

The short of it is: Ella got lymphoma. Like, literally overnight. She was fine on Mother's Day, May 9th. We had company over, and she was outside with us, showing off and playing.
On May 11th, we woke up as usual, and I was getting my shoes on to let her out to go potty, and as she walked towards me, I noticed her right side of her neck was swollen to the size of an oblong tennis ball. It was the oddest thing ever. And she was NOT acting sick. We brought her in immediately to the vet where he informed us that it was her lymph node.
No one thought it was cancer because it just popped up out of nowhere.

So...after exactly 3 weeks of trying antibiotics, prednisone (which did not shrink it at all), waiting on lab work, then finally a surgery to remove her lymph node, we got the results that it was indeed lymphoma.

Ella did get slightly ill in that three weeks. We assumed it was the high dosage of prednisone that the vet put her on, but it was the lymphoma.
She couldn't hold food down without the aid of two medications.
So, on June 1st, when we got the diagnosis as we were at the vet to have her tube removed from her surgery, we were informed that the cancer had reached her spleen, liver, and the vet was 90% sure it had already reached her stomach. My typically optimistic vet was not so optimistic about treatment for her.
Chemo was going to cost $10,000-$15,000 and he said that at the stage she was at, she would probably not go into remission. Had we thought, or been informed, that it might work, we would have found a way to afford it.
He said without treatment, we had probably 8 weeks, TOPS, with her.
His ultimate suggestion was to take her home and let her live out those 8 weeks as comfortably as possible. We were in shock and heartbroken.
I was in denial while he was giving us the news. I thought that for sure he was either lying to us, or, or that they gave us the wrong dog's results.
MY Ella couldn't possibly be on the verge of death!
Not when she was in the best shape of her life just weeks before!

But she was.

That night I let her sleep in bed with me which usually meant Ella slept a deep, peaceful sleep.
But she tossed and turned all night. Her belly was so swollen (and her spleen) that she could not get comfortable. And she panted all night.
The next morning she vomited on my bed.
I took her outside to go potty and I watched her back legs wobble as she went.
Coming back into the house, she wouldn't climb the three steps from my sunroom to my kitchen.
I called to her and she stared at me. Then she looked away.
I cried and begged her to just climb those three steps for me. But she looked away from me. She was in pain.
She finally climbed those three steps, but she climbed them for me when I should have be doing something for her.

And at that moment I knew. I knew it was time to let her go before the cancer could take anymore away from her.

So, on June 2, 2010, with her favorite orbee ball in her mouth, and her 3 most favorite humans surrounding her, we let her go in peace. It was the only way we could beat the cancer. And it was the only way she would not feel pain anymore.

And a part of my world broke off that day. And I still cry every day over having to be without her.

She was 6 years old and survived extreme heart worm treatment before we adopted her. We were told that most dogs would not have survived the heart worm treatment she had to go through.
But Ella did.
But we think it cost her her immune system and that's why we battled mast cell (which we beat) and skin issues her entire time with us.


We came home to a dogless house that day. And THAT was almost as unbearable as losing Ella.
We bawled as we packed up all of her things, but even then, we found her hairs in our bathroom near the tub and we smelled her scent on our bed, our couch, our pillows.

The dogless house was too much for me. I'd wake up in the middle of the night sobbing and my whole body would shake as I cried and cried and cried.

I felt like I lost a human child.


To make a long story as short as possible, we ended up adopting two pit bull puppies.
First we adopted Ophelia (rescue named her, we didn't). After having her for a week, we decided to foster another pit bull puppy named Luke (again, rescue named him).
We failed at fostering Luke because he just fit in so well.

We have a feeling that Ella had a hand in these two pups coming to us.
And while I miss her dearly, these two have kept me on my toes.

Here's Ophelia (we call her "Ophie" or "Ophi-Wan Kenophi")
She tries to be teh serious puppeh:

And here's Luke (yes, he has one blue eye and one green eye):

Giving my best friend's son some love (he LOVES kids!):

Yes, he has a slight underbite, so that gives him a pouty lip.

The two together:

LIMBER!

The two of them together crack me up.

Both pups are around 5 months old, are NOT from the same litter (as we got both pups from two different rescues), and are a handful!
But I ADORE their puppy antics, and I need them.
They have been a HUGE help in managing my grief over the loss of Ella.

Hope you think they are as adorable as I do!


Don't get me wrong, I miss Ella with ALL OF MY HEART. I grieve her EVERYDAY. I still cannot type up a memorial for her for my website.
The good memories are still painful.
And I'll NEVER get over losing her, the pain just becomes more...manageable.
But there are times where I will still cry all day about her. I take her bed out of the plastic bag that we have it wrapped in (and stored in a rubbermaid container), and I'll smell it so that I don't forget her scent.
I may sound crazy, but that dog was such a huge part of my life.
She was there with me while my husband was at work and my children were at school.
She was my shadow. She was my Ball Monster.
We went through SOOOO MUCH.

And I'm still so angry. SO ANGRY at the cancer. It's hard to explain the anger I have towards that disease.

I'll have you know, that in the midst of that 3 weeks before getting the lymphoma diagnosis, we ran a complete blood panel on her and her blood work came back PERFECT.
The vet said her white blood cells could not have been more normal.

And the entire time lymphoma was invading her body.

THAT is how tricky this disease is!
It fooled her own blood work.
It fooled all of us.

So, yes, I am still in the "anger" portion of my grieving. I'm hoping it ends soon, but I just don't know how not to feel so ticked that we were so deceived, and that deception cost my heart dog her life.

 

[Kristi23]

You already know how sorry I am about Ella. I'll miss her, too. She was the sweetest dog.

The new puppies are adorable! I can't wait to come play with them!

 

[robin]

i am sorry about ella. i know how it feels



congrats on the new beautiful pups!

 

[Taquiq]

I'm so sorry about Ella.

Ophelia and Luke are cute!

 

[goReptiles]

I'm so sorry to hear that... MIA my APBT had cancer and was diagnosed with osteosarcoma at 17 months old. We did a biopsy which removed most of it, and started 2 rounds of chemo. The cancer started growing back, so after a few months of pain meds and rapamune (a blood drug to help battle cancer and other conditions), the meds weren't working any more, and we had to have the leg amputated and 4 more rounds of chemo. She turned 3 years old this past June, and is running around like crazy on her three legs. She still takes oral chemo daily, and rapamune three times a week. She's h*ll on 3 legs, I'll tell you that. But, getting her treated was the best thing we've done for her.

The two pups are super cute. I like the white male the best. The tan female looks like a shepherd mix. Both are cute though with crazy ears. Ha. I could see myself with Luke. Ha Were you looking for a pup? Much less at two places? Or how did that come about?

 

[Chewbecca]

Thanks, guys.

We heard about Ophie through a friend of mine who volunteers with a rescue in Chicago. The rescue pulls dogs from animal control in Chicago, and then places them in foster homes until they can be adopted out. But there is a daycare/training facility that they'll board dogs at if they are waiting on foster homes for the dogs.
This place (Bark Avenue in Chicago) actually found Ophie in front of their daycare/training facility and took her in. They vetted her because she had kennel cough and demodectic mange. Well, they used to let employees take her on sleep overs on weekends, and my friend had a bbq at her house one weekend and Ophie stayed there the weekend with her.
She told us about her, and we made an appt. to go meet her.

Then we noticed that Ophie just ADORES other dogs. She was wanting to play with every single living creature on four legs.
So, I talked to my friend, and she spoke with her rescue head and we had her rescue head pull a puppy for us from Animal Control to foster.
She happened to pick the BEST PUPPY EVER for us to foster.
And he had kennel cough when we brought him home (same strain as Ophie, so she never caught it from him). Once we got him healed up from that (which even on 2 anitbiotics it took 3-4 weeks to go away), we just couldn't part with him.

And that's how we obtained Luke.

Anyway, yeah, Ophie *could* be GSD mix, but I highly doubt it. Her body is EXACTLY like a pit bull's and there are APBTs with black masks.
And typically GSD/pit bull mixes are a LOT hairier than she is.
She has completely short hair.
But she may have GSD in her way far down in her line.

 

[goReptiles]

Gotcha.. .Cool story for sure.

I wasn't thinking GSD, but just some kind of shepherd. I've seen the pits with the darker masks, but she doesn't have the head build. She could have had a parent that was pit mix and then another mixed parent, and gotten some of the pit traits. Who knows, she's still cute.

I still like Luke better. I think it's the eyes and the under bite (MIA has the same under bite and overall sad look).

Wasn't Ella a pit mix?

 

[Chewbecca]

I have no idea if Ella was a pit mix. Most old school APBT folks said she looked purebred to them.
And she sure as heck acted like a pit bull. Drive and all.

And good, if you like Luke better, you can take his food guarding issues and over exuberance with him.:main_thumbsup:

Nah, he's a great dog, he's just a total attention pig. And a food guarder (which we are working on with a strict protocol of trading based on a book I have and based on the in-person advisement of a trainer/behaviorist and the guarding issues are very minor anyway, I'm just a spaz about my dogs' behavior and try to nip everything as soon as I notice it).

He adores children, though.

But Ophie is way better behaved around other dogs and gentler.

 

[goReptiles]

I like dogs with a little attitude. Makes them more fun to work with. More of a challenge, which makes training more interesting. So ill take him on. Ha

I've found the easier the dog is to train, the quicker I get bored training. Training my mom's st. Bernard/ collie was too easy. MIA was more fun because being apbt, she's Uber hard headed. My yorkie wasn't bad but he's got dominance issues and really smart, so he's always fun. The bull mastiff, I haven't worked with bc of time, but she's Uber smart and hard headed. Shed be a challenge bc of size and temperament.

Sorry... didn't mean for the extra ramble..

 

[earls413]

You have me bawling I'm so sorry about Ella, sounds like you two were soulmates. I had to put my Dachshund to sleep last year from cancer she lived a good life though she was almost 12. Got myself a new puppy a few months later from a no kill shelter and she definately helped me through my tough times. Your new pups are precious.