Jeanne
Abbie's Human
- Messages
- 4,090
- Location
- Tyngsboro, MA
So, I am sure some of you are wondering why I haven't been around much, well, this week has been a big time cluster - F*ck.
This past Wednesday I had, I guess you can call it a nervous breakdown. For the past couple of weeks I haven't been wanting to go home, it was getting worse and worse as time went on. On Wednesday I got home around 5:00 did a few things, I was sitting on the floor with Abbie, Bobby was there too, and all of a sudden I felt SOOO trapt, not just uncomfortable, but almost claustrophobic (SP?). I didn't want to be around Bobby or Abbie. I went to my room, cried for about an hour, I felt lonely, sad, scared, all at once, not just a little, but BAD. I knew something was wrong. I tried to call my doctor, but they were closed, I tried to call a Councilor used to go to, but I only got an answering machine saying that they weren't taking new patients. I waited a few minutes, but just felt worse and worse, I contemplated calling 911, because that is how bad I felt, but decided against that. I knew I couldn't be alone, and I didn't want to be with Bobby, so I got in my car and left, started to call my sister, and at that time I started to hyperventilate pretty bad, I never had a panic attack before but I've seen people having them, so I told my sister that I need to be with her, I couldn't be alone, so she said she would meet me at her house. By the time I got to her house I was hyperventilating so bad, my hands, forearms, and legs cramped up so bad I couldn't move them, I thought I was having a stroke! Her boyfriend got home before she did, he saw me and started to call 911, but my sister got there and told him not to call, she knew it was just a panic attack. She got me to calm down, and feeling better.
The next day I got to work, and knew there was still something wrong, I was still VERY sad-lonely-scared-crying (Almost uncontrollably), and VERY jumpy. I got to work and told my boss what was going on (My work is VERY understandable, not sure what I would do if I was working somewhere else), and decided that I should go to my doctors. I got there and they saw how I was and thought it best for me to go to Lowell General Hospital to get evaluated my the Psych (SP?) ward, so they called my sister and she brought me there. Well, when I got there, I felt SOOO much better, I calmed down, almost so much where I fell asleep. A councilor came in and saw me, we talked for an hour, and she decided I was ok to be released. She gave me a list of Therapists to call, and the # for the Domestic Abuse Hotline (Not because Bobby ever beat me, but because he yelled a lot, blah..blah..blah). So I left, 30 minutes later, I was on my way home to tell Bobby what happened, and to get some of my clothes (I was going to stay at my sisters house for a while) and I freaked out again, completely irrational, crying hysterically, etc. I called my doctors office, they were closed for lunch, I left a message (A semi-hysterical one) saying that Lowell General released me, but that I still needed help. Well, they called my sister back and told her that they won't help me because it's a Psych issue, and Lowell General released me so they won't do anything unless I admit myself again. So, I was screwed.
I got home, my sister followed me there. I told Bobby what was going on, as best I could, scared the crap out of him. I got some clothes and left.
Since then, Bobby has tried and tried to get me to come home, but I CAN'T. If I think of going back there, I start to break down. I almost ended back at Lowell General Friday night because I got hysterical and freaked out again, scared my sisters that time.
Bobby is trying everything to get me to come home, saying he will marry me, that he misses me, crying, saying that Abbie misses me, etc. I can barely take care of myself right now, never mind a dog. The more Bobby contacts me, the worse I get. I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take.
I have an appointment with a councilor on Thursday at 12:00, but am still trying to get a sooner appointment.
In the next couple days, I will be putting my (Almost) entire collection up for sale. I will be posting it here in the Round Room first. I need to find homes for them ASAP. The prices will be VERY reasonable, and best offers are welcome. There will be a few stipulations, I won't sell individual geckos, I don't want to be shipping 60+ separately.
This past Wednesday I had, I guess you can call it a nervous breakdown. For the past couple of weeks I haven't been wanting to go home, it was getting worse and worse as time went on. On Wednesday I got home around 5:00 did a few things, I was sitting on the floor with Abbie, Bobby was there too, and all of a sudden I felt SOOO trapt, not just uncomfortable, but almost claustrophobic (SP?). I didn't want to be around Bobby or Abbie. I went to my room, cried for about an hour, I felt lonely, sad, scared, all at once, not just a little, but BAD. I knew something was wrong. I tried to call my doctor, but they were closed, I tried to call a Councilor used to go to, but I only got an answering machine saying that they weren't taking new patients. I waited a few minutes, but just felt worse and worse, I contemplated calling 911, because that is how bad I felt, but decided against that. I knew I couldn't be alone, and I didn't want to be with Bobby, so I got in my car and left, started to call my sister, and at that time I started to hyperventilate pretty bad, I never had a panic attack before but I've seen people having them, so I told my sister that I need to be with her, I couldn't be alone, so she said she would meet me at her house. By the time I got to her house I was hyperventilating so bad, my hands, forearms, and legs cramped up so bad I couldn't move them, I thought I was having a stroke! Her boyfriend got home before she did, he saw me and started to call 911, but my sister got there and told him not to call, she knew it was just a panic attack. She got me to calm down, and feeling better.
The next day I got to work, and knew there was still something wrong, I was still VERY sad-lonely-scared-crying (Almost uncontrollably), and VERY jumpy. I got to work and told my boss what was going on (My work is VERY understandable, not sure what I would do if I was working somewhere else), and decided that I should go to my doctors. I got there and they saw how I was and thought it best for me to go to Lowell General Hospital to get evaluated my the Psych (SP?) ward, so they called my sister and she brought me there. Well, when I got there, I felt SOOO much better, I calmed down, almost so much where I fell asleep. A councilor came in and saw me, we talked for an hour, and she decided I was ok to be released. She gave me a list of Therapists to call, and the # for the Domestic Abuse Hotline (Not because Bobby ever beat me, but because he yelled a lot, blah..blah..blah). So I left, 30 minutes later, I was on my way home to tell Bobby what happened, and to get some of my clothes (I was going to stay at my sisters house for a while) and I freaked out again, completely irrational, crying hysterically, etc. I called my doctors office, they were closed for lunch, I left a message (A semi-hysterical one) saying that Lowell General released me, but that I still needed help. Well, they called my sister back and told her that they won't help me because it's a Psych issue, and Lowell General released me so they won't do anything unless I admit myself again. So, I was screwed.
I got home, my sister followed me there. I told Bobby what was going on, as best I could, scared the crap out of him. I got some clothes and left.
Since then, Bobby has tried and tried to get me to come home, but I CAN'T. If I think of going back there, I start to break down. I almost ended back at Lowell General Friday night because I got hysterical and freaked out again, scared my sisters that time.
Bobby is trying everything to get me to come home, saying he will marry me, that he misses me, crying, saying that Abbie misses me, etc. I can barely take care of myself right now, never mind a dog. The more Bobby contacts me, the worse I get. I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take.
I have an appointment with a councilor on Thursday at 12:00, but am still trying to get a sooner appointment.
In the next couple days, I will be putting my (Almost) entire collection up for sale. I will be posting it here in the Round Room first. I need to find homes for them ASAP. The prices will be VERY reasonable, and best offers are welcome. There will be a few stipulations, I won't sell individual geckos, I don't want to be shipping 60+ separately.
