Angry users?

[steve_gecko23]

so i am fairly new to this forum i have been a member since last September and i seemed to notice that at least on every thread i read there has to be someone who is a complete douche! i understand there are alot of new leo owners on this website and have alot of questions and i admit some can make you scratch your head, but i dont understand why there has to be that one person who just makes everyone feel bad. can someone please explain to me why some people take this a little bit to serious, its like they think that no one can care for leos like they can im pretty sure EVERY user on this website loves their animals as much as the next person.

 

[tibi]

it's like this on every forum in every country. it's just the way some people think and react

 

[Ozy]

I understand someone being a new leo owner, and needing advice sometimes. But what makes me angry is when they can't RESEARCH before they run out and get a leopard gecko. I can explain EXACTLY why people take this so seriously. Because leopard geckos are living, breathing, wonderful animals. It does make me angry when people post that they've had their leo for 2 months on calcium sand with no gut load or supplement, one hide, an unregulated UTH and a 50 watt heat bulb. And they wonder why their gecko is on death's door. All that could have been prevented if they would just take 30 minutes and google leopard gecko care sheets. And it's not that MY way or YOUR way is the "right" way. It's the fact of the matter that leopard geckos NEED certain things like belly heat at 90-95 degrees, properly gut loaded and dusted insects to eat, 3 hides (a hot dry hide, a humid hide and a cool hide) That's just my 2 cents though.

 

[Newworlddragons]

Good question

 

[stager]

Sorry for the bad experience but stick around people will warm up to you

 

[steve_gecko23]

yeah i understand where your coming from "ozy" there are alot of things that can be googled, but hey that just how some people are they dont want to take the time out of their day to research the stuff they need to know i understand how that can be frustrating! but Imo i dont think the experienced users should go off on the new leo owners i think we should just tell them what we know and offer our help in a nicer way. after all even the best gecko owners didnt know what they were doing at one point

 

[SC Geckos]

Most of us mean well and enjoy helping others. Some people take offense to how some of us try to help, like instead of giving the answer to a specific question, giving them a place to find that and many other answers to questions that will more than likely come up. Speaking for me personally, I am more than happy to help someone if I can but I am more likely to answer the question if the person seems to have done at least some research, search old threads, etc. If it is the most basic of questions that you could find the answer anywhere in less than 5 min. I am more likely to suggest a care sheet or a book to read before just giving the answer.
The only time I get.... frustrated is when someone has an issue, they create a thread and ask for advice (which is great). The frustrating part is when the advice is not what they want to hear like "the animal needs to see a vet". Then for the next few weeks or more, every few days there is a thread by the same person saying something along the lines of.... Whats wrong with...., There's something wrong with....., Help he's dying....., just to name a few. If they would have taken the previous advice of many then all the rest would have been avoided including the animal suffering.
Now don't get me wrong problems can pop up with animals and people need advice, That's part of the reason this forum is here. It just gets old sometimes when you see the same person having the same problems all the while the animal is suffering when it could have been avoided.
Just remember most everyone on this forum are good people just trying to help others..... we just do it in different ways.
Sorry for the rant. lol.

 

[katie_]

Some of can sound harsh because its reality. Some ppl need a good virtual shake.
In the end, its all for the good of the geckos, not the OP's feelings.

 

[Ozy]

I agree Katie and Brad. If someone can't take 5 minutes to look something up.. What does that say about how much they "care" for their gecko? And actually if you look at MANY threads, for at least 2 pages people are nice and offer helpful advice. But the OP is like.. there is NO WAY I'm doing this and this and this wrong, that's when we get harsh, because in the end it's not about the OP's pride or whatever, it's about the gecko.

 

[alars]

The only reasons I can think of for a good reason to go off on someone is if they don't know the breeding patterns of leopard geckos and house 2 together, have no idea what they need after buying them, how to handle them, or something else they should have known sooner. So pretty much if they're being irresponsible they're asking for it. Not to say there isn't a nicer way to say it, but people don't listen if you tell them nicely most of the time. In my experience anyways...

 

[katie_]

If we were dealing with puppies and kittens here, no one would complain about harsh comments when they get neglected/mistreated.

 

[acpart]

The perennial question. Some of us are just on shorter fuses than others on the "getting upset" continuum. Unfortunately what one person feels is "blatant stupidity" may not seem that way to another person. If there were one thing I could have the power to change about forum (or any) interactions, it would be to eliminate the attitude that says "if you're going to be that stupid/ignorant/uncaring, etc. then you deserve to get yelled at". If an angry reaction is very very rare, it has a lot of power. People in my community are still talking about the time I banged on the table when I was running a meeting 15 years ago. Unfortunately, angry reactions here are less rare and consequently less respected. One thing that's useful for a person to ask him/herself is whether the true purpose of their angry response is to change the other person's behavior or to vent their own feelings. Usually it's the latter (and boy do I know about that after raising 3 kids), but it's hard to admit. In my opinion, the best response is to ignore the anger rather than trying to match it.

Aliza

 

[leezard]

There are many people today that confuse a bit of respect as being something that should be earned instead of just a bit of standard decency. Yes we all get a bit tired of the same old questions that a simple search could answer but often people can't think of the right way to search, etc.

We are all here due to a love or wanting to learn about reptiles. Some know much more than others, and some think their standards are the only that should be followed (right or wrong). Some too often refuse to understand, the position a person may be in is not the same position they are in. They insist they should no matter what.

Sadly a few people that believe they know all and everyone else should do exactly what they say can destroy a good forum. I have been here a couple years and have see so very many of these type of threads to lead me to believe there is some true problems here. I have seen many innovators on this forum that no longer post because of this vile trend. Just my 2 cents.

 

[pmkent1]

The perennial question. Some of us are just on shorter fuses than others on the "getting upset" continuum. Unfortunately what one person feels is "blatant stupidity" may not seem that way to another person. If there were one thing I could have the power to change about forum (or any) interactions, it would be to eliminate the attitude that says "if you're going to be that stupid/ignorant/uncaring, etc. then you deserve to get yelled at". If an angry reaction is very very rare, it has a lot of power. People in my community are still talking about the time I banged on the table when I was running a meeting 15 years ago. Unfortunately, angry reactions here are less rare and consequently less respected. One thing that's useful for a person to ask him/herself is whether the true purpose of their angry response is to change the other person's behavior or to vent their own feelings. Usually it's the latter (and boy do I know about that after raising 3 kids), but it's hard to admit. In my opinion, the best response is to ignore the anger rather than trying to match it.

Aliza

Amen. If we can switch our objective from trying to prove a point to trying to solve a problem we'd have a much better place for people to go here. I, for one, wouldnt mind seeing a little more of that myself.

 

[OhioGecko]

The perennial question. Some of us are just on shorter fuses than others on the "getting upset" continuum. Unfortunately what one person feels is "blatant stupidity" may not seem that way to another person. If there were one thing I could have the power to change about forum (or any) interactions, it would be to eliminate the attitude that says "if you're going to be that stupid/ignorant/uncaring, etc. then you deserve to get yelled at". If an angry reaction is very very rare, it has a lot of power. People in my community are still talking about the time I banged on the table when I was running a meeting 15 years ago. Unfortunately, angry reactions here are less rare and consequently less respected. One thing that's useful for a person to ask him/herself is whether the true purpose of their angry response is to change the other person's behavior or to vent their own feelings. Usually it's the latter (and boy do I know about that after raising 3 kids), but it's hard to admit. In my opinion, the best response is to ignore the anger rather than trying to match it.

Aliza

Spot on!

 

[stager]

I second that! When I first came here I felt attack at one time I was going to take my ball and go play somewhere else. But I stuck it out, its worth it so much good info here and experienced people. Stick it out!

 

[katie_]

I second that! When I first came here I felt attack at one time I was going to take my ball and go play somewhere else. But I stuck it out, its worth it so much good info here and experienced people. Stick it out!

I think we all did!

 

[Kylerbassman]

I agree things can go too far sometimes. I think a majority of it is because people care so much for there Leo's (as stated earlier in the thread)that when they see people making life threatening decisions/mistakes, people want to scream. We should be nicer about it when they are honest questions or they have been misinformed , however, if you are going to come on a forum and act like a know it all when really your not giving proper care, then I'm not going to be nice. I get frustrated when people ask for help, but then refuse to listen to your suggestions. I have seen things posted that make me sick. I have honestly seen things that should have been reported to local authorities. I am on another forum that is actually much more critical at times. People have a lot of knowledge, and when people decide to ignore good advice, then I think you have every right to be irritated. All in all I hope threads will be "nicer" but if "nicer" means not pointing out issues and or problems, then there is no point to this forum and I won't be apart of it. People come here for the best info, and I feel that they should get it weather it's tough to hear or not. None of this is a jab at anyone here, so please don't take anything I said personally.

 

[Ghostoftangerine17]

I think the attitudes here are often on the abrasive side if there's any sort of ignorance about herp care. More honey and less vinegar and I think misguided owners will be more likely to follow the valuable advice given here and hopefully help other reptile owners down the line.

 

[leezard]

Tough and to the point is one thing and is something I have no issue with and most people don't. Derogatory, rude and demeaning comments are another. I have seen a trend where some people (not you) believe these two things are the same.